Fellow bloggers and other readers I am leaving for college tomorrow. By the way I am quite excited for that as its IIT Kanpur. I am among the last in my friend circle to leave and most of them have already left. Among the friends here some want to meet me before I leave but cant due to practical problems and then there are some who want to meet , can meet but wont . Queer indeed. Hence friends the frequency of my posts will vary. Sorry for that. But for friends who will still blog - enjoy it and express yourselves always. Don't just keep things to yourselves. Bye guys for now. Cheers and laters.

Sarcasm, by definition, is an cutting often ironic statement intended to wound or humour. Definitely not something to use when you are at the barber's. Why you may want to ask? Because of the following events:


1. A bright,sunny Sunday it was and God only knows why everyone in this part of the country finds Sunday the unwritten day to get your haircut. The practical reason behind this trend is obviously Sunday being a holiday and you need not worry about going to work but can worry about your looks. So there was this really long queue at the barber's.

After having read the newspaper twice and heard to all the vernacular hits from the stereo and forty-five minutes the guy just ahead of me his turn came. He was still scooping the newspaper and had also waited 45 minutes. The barber guy asked him,"Sir,have you come to have your hair cut?"

"No I have come to read the newspaper." The man said with heavy sarcasm and returned to his news. So I went ahead and got seated.

Fifteen minutes later as I was leaving our sarcasm man was bickering why his turn had not come and the barber guy replied, "Sir you only said yourself you just came to read the newspaper. Believe me sir some people come here to do that."

But 'sir' was not in the mood for sarcasm.

2.I had gone for a haircut and this barber guy asks me "Do you want to have a shave also?"
This time I reply sarcastically "Yeah definitely. Shave also. That will also test how well you can shave others." I told this cause I had shaved myself just the day before.

But seriously this guy had no sense of sarcasm and had prepared his foam and was about to apply when I stopped him.

Seriously , barbers might be good at talking about a lot of topics while doing their job but sarcasm does not go well with them.

I was at the railway station today booking tickets for a trip and they were more than one person. there who were not in their best moods.


"And 100% tax exemption for political funding. You have hundreds of crores for political campaigns and they go tax free now..." Mr. A was shouting.

"Now that it is raining,I am hating it. The road in front of my house has disappeared. Can you believe that there are people who enjoy all this rain. My landlady's children were bathing yesterday in this rain with soap and scrubber at night 9 . Can you believe that?" Told Mr.X to someone.

"See the guy in front of you has made his ticket but has not paid.So you have to wait for him to come or pay his money and take your ticket," said the clerk. After listening to this a Mr. D forgot he was at a public place and shouted at the top of his voice at the clerk. This was reasonable though I thought.

I don't know why but today was not a normal day there.But the most amazing (why am I calling someone's spontaneous overflow of emotions 'amazing'?) and entertaining(Why entertaining?) is the one that follows.

There was this homely, beautiful girl standing with her father in the ladies and physically handicapped line. As soon as her turn came the father sidelined his daughter and started talking with the woman in charge of that ticket-counter.

"You are neither physically disabled nor a woman. So how come you are standing in this line?" she demanded.

"Well, my daughter was standing in the line..," the father defended himself.

"Just use your daughter. Keep her in a corner of the house and don't let her out to learn things herself. You know , mister, that you are the reason why women in this country can't progress and become independent. Because of people like you the purpose of a girl's life here is only to change a surname and stand in a ladies' line.See I don't want to make an issue."

"Make an issue? You already have, ma'm. Why don't yo just make the tickets and give us? I know you have a monotonous job and you are taking out your frustration like this?"

"Enough sir. If I did not do this monotonous job you can't go on your little trip to..." Looking a the form she said, " Bangalore. If I wanted..."

"Look,ma'm I have had enough of this.I will complain to..."

The 'homely' girl now had also had enough and went to the counter.Setting her father aside she said,"Ma'm please make the tickets." And finally this woman made.

Seriously something was wrong today. May be this woman let loose her feelings because there was no one else in the line. May be...




Subhayan of the fame of 'Wrahoolz Wramblingz' fame has honoured and humbled me with 'The Totally Bindaas Blogger' award. I hereby put that award on display. You can catch the entire award ceremony by this link if you are interested: http://wramblingz.blogspot.com/2009/07/ok-everybody-this-is-post-you-all-had.html.

Now Subhayan is a really enterprising guy who has hit two targets with one arrow. Not only has he given the awarded bloggers appreciation plus has got together a number of bloggers - all very different in the topics they write on and their approach to the decided topics. Hats-off to you, Subhayan. And again thanks a lot.

11 PM

"Debi just tell hello to the person I put you through on the conference now, okay,"said Shruti.

"Okay." So finally she had found someone for me. YIPEEE!!!

"Hi." Said a defintively male voice.

I said hello as instructed and he kept the phone. So this girl is trying to hook me up with a guy or what? I needed an explanation.

She called five minutes later.

"Debi, thanks a lot. That guy was such a bore. Let me tel you then what all he has been telling..."

That made me heave a sigh of relief and all my questions were answered(at least those that mattered.)

"See. Anurag is this guy in my class. He somehow got my phone number and is calling me up at odd hours. First up he calls and when I ask him his name he tells "What's in a name oh pretty maiden, call me by any I will still be yours " and then after a pause adds "by Shakespeare with the help of Anurag." So Debi see he actually gives me his name but ..."

"...praises himself also.He has style then. Quite a casanova you have got there," I say looking at the broken watch on my table.

"I talked first. Just like that. But he does not want just like that. He wants all that. Comes up with cheesy romantic lines and bores. He must have told that I am beautiful about a hundred times in the two times he has actually called. Seriously boys do get a little over-confident on phone, Orkut, Facebook etc etc as compared to real-life.But I know he is just a 'windy' guy."

She really knows guys then. Or at least thinks so? But another terminology after Kutian.'Windy.."

"'Windy' meaning?" asked a confused Debi.

"Windy as in who talks a lot and thus creates a lot of wind and is incapable of strong action. So today when he called first I let it ring and then informed you. So he thought my father or brother picked up and thus hung."

Smart thinking there (na?). Seriously girls in colleges and in higher education ar subject to such idiotic overtures of 'friendship' and I guess Shruti did come up with a good way to avoid but then you need to have conference call facility for that.

"Issued in Public Interest for People who have the Chromosome that I don't"


Seriously when we all shout(this includes me also guys.. notice I used 'we') that people making advertisements are stupid we must realise that their target audience must be expected to be as much stupid if not more. Why do these people under-estimate us so much? A few case-studies...I am not using any names. You know just in case...


1.An AD for a Soap That is Supposed to Make us Fairer
A girl uses this soap(let's call it 'good') on one cheek and another 'ordinary' soap on the other cheek and WOW! The one with the ordinary soap is darker than the one that was done with the soap in question. Friends I don't know about the Photoshop effects used and make up used to prove one cheek darker(Come on that had to be false a girl that pretty would never agree to such attrocities.) but look at this... The lighting of her face is done from the 'good soap' side so that the shadow of the nose naturally darkens the 'ordinary soap' side. I hope you are getting what I am implying.

2.An AD for Chips
A girl and a guy are making a dish where the ingredients are this, that and the chips obviously. They make some idiotic dish with everything else but the chips and they finally throw away the dish in the dustbin(It was really idiotic!!) and eat the chips. WOW! How does this highlight the good features of the chips? Yes it did highlight their slogan but that is equally idiotic guys...

3.An AD for A Computer Training Programme
A girl comes in for an interview and drops her certificates(by mistake or by design I really don't know) and on one of these certificates the name of this programme was written. Somehow all the other entrants see this certificate and of their own accord leave leaving this girl to collect the certificate after ample time, give a million-dollar smile for the camera before going for the interview. Now where in the world do we find such under-confident people for an interview? Plus by this the ad is trying to give us the message by telling "WE ARE GOOD". Who doesn't? Who won't say they are good? Come on show us something about your institute or your programme details. Anything but this.

4.An AD for A Cellphone Network Providing Company
Showcasing the captain of our Indian cricket team advertising the fact that he can stay connected to his friends by a particular site which can be run by a particular service that this network provides. Once this happened. Our respected captain had got out and then this AD was aired. I was buying something at this hotel. Captain tells in ad "I love to be connected to my friends" and a guy at the hotel says "I think that was why you got out so early this time? Now remain connected till the next innings..."Sorry Captain don't take it in the wrong sense.

5.An AD for a Bike
A man finds a genie. He gives him everything "hi-fi"but this guy wanted "normal" stuff - be it a house, a wife or a bike.So he rejects the "good" bike the one being advertised for and takes a normal one. So the bottom-line is that the bike was good or rather hi-fi. But how and why?

Come on advertisers you have enough creativity to come up with such peculiar ideas just do something with substance. I know you all work under a lot of time pressure but make your ads worth their air-rate(if that is the term)...





I have been tagged by Shilpa(again) and Subhayan for both the tags below.


1. 5 Things I Love About Myself
Frankly I feel very blocked when asked such abstract questions about myself.So here goes...

1.My memory.(I think it's good in terms of events not that good in terms of exact statistical data.)
2.I enjoy whatever thing I decide to take up.(Hey don't judge the opposite thing that I take up things that I enjoy.)
3.I think I give good advice and suggestions to others on almost everything.
4.I also like my observational skills.
5.My family and friends - very helpful and supportive of what I do or aspire to do.

See I am very bad at all this stuff. The above write-up seems so self-obsessed(What else did you expect?)

2. Get to Know Me Tag

Q.How tall are you barefoot?
A.5 feet 8 and a half inches

Q.Have you ever smoked before?
A.No.

Q.Do you own a gun?
A.No.

Q.If you had a mental disorder what would it be?
A.Some disease in which I can see vivid visuals that no one else has seen.(I don't have one now though.)

Q.How many letters are in your crush's name?
A.Guess that 'crush' is no longer a crush....

Q.What's your fav silly song?
A.Excuse me Kya re.

Q.What do you prefer to drnk in the morning?
A.Lemon tea.

Q.What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
A.What must be Subhayan's reply to that big comment I left on his blog?

Q.What secret weapon do you use to lure the opposite sex?
A.Weapon..It's love not war. May be humour.

Q.Do you own a knife?
A.No.

Q.Name the last thing you bought today?
A.Dairy Milk for my sister.

Q.Name five regular drinks you drink?
A.Milk,Tea,Coffee,Water and Mango shake.

Q.What time did you wake up today?
A.9 AM(Hey I had slept at 1AM)

Q.What song do you want to be played at your funeral?
A.I don't think they play songs in Hindu funerals.

Q.What song did you last hear?
A."Teardrops on My Guitar" by Taylor Swift.

Q.Favorite Place to Be?
A.Home or Somewhere with my friends.

Q.Least fav place to be?
A.Get-togethers where I am Out-of-place.

Q.Do you own slippers?
A.Yeah..Who doesn't?

Q.Where do you think you will be in ten years from now?
A. No idea.

Q.Do you burn or tan?
A.Well...

Q.Yellow or blue?
A.Blue

Q.What songs do you sing in the shower?
A.None.

Q.What did you think was going to get to tou at night as a child?
A.Ghosts or may be giant spiders.

Q.What is in your pockets right now?
A.Nothing.

Q.Last thing that made you laugh?
A."Whose Line is It anyway?"

Q.Best bed sheets you had as a child?
A.Hey, there's a limit now. I am really tired of non-sense questions.

Q.Worst injury you have had?
A.A broken wrist.

Q.Do you wish on stars?
A.No.(All these Do you.. questions I have answered in the negative.)

Q.What were you doing at 1AM last night?
A.I have already answered that.

Q.Name 3 things yoy are thinking right now?
A. Well..
1.Why Me,Shilpa and Subhayan?
2.Who made up these questions?
3.I feel blocked again....










Technically.....
Finally Hindi cinema is coming of age. Point to be noted here is we are making good movies on terrorism -Black Friday, Mumbai Meri Jaan,Aamir,A Wednesday and now New York.Director Kabir Khan comes back well after making Kabul Express which was almost a documentary. This one is based on the attrocities that were carried on the Asians that were detained after 9/11 attack. Very well researched indeed. Even at a point Irrfan Khan provides a reason why this detention was necessary.Another Bollywood director might have focussed more on the friendship of the three and its development from square one. But luckily enough our director wraps all that in a song and does not stray much. The story and the screenplay are both well written and make this movie really pacy.The cinematography is really good , brilliantly capturing some moments and the associated pain from the detention centre that leave us shocked. The buildings of New York look very beautiful-their beauty can also be questioned. The background music is very different from regular Hindi movies and is mostly made of rocking guitar riffs that only add to the pace. The songs have been slightly forced and sometimes seem nagging as they are used simultaneously with narration. Luckily there are ony three songs.The ending is different - as to whether you like it or not it's a matter of perspective.

And the Actors
Basically the story revolves around only four characters - mostly stereotyped. John Abraham has to play the NRI(Dostana, Goal) , Katrina Kaif ,the NRI girl,(she looks like that plus the accent. Singh is King, Namastey London) and Irrfan Khan has to play the cop(Slumdog Millionaire). Nevertheless all of them act well and you can defintely see maturity in Katrina's acting. Neil Nitin Mukesh has some emo-scenes which he carries off with elan. Overall all the actors show a sense of maturity.

The Verdict
Watch it for something new and fresh. It is a very serious movie,well-researched and definitely different.

I must admit to be a teacher is one of the most difficult jobs in this age especially in the primary level when apart from imparting education you also need to inculcate moral values.


But in the secondary level I have seen, have heard about and have been taught also by some queer teachers. And what I have noticed is that these guys have their own pre-planned escape routes if their present knowledge is not good enough to answer a doubt.

Q:Sir, I have a doubt in Q3.

Here are some unique situations:

1.The teacher stares hard at the question and finally is enlightened to the fact that he is not enlightened enough to enlighten the student and lightens himself of the book.

And looks around the class and starts a lecture like this :

"You students will study.... Before asking such questions you all must realise whether you deserve to know the answer, whether you are capable to know the answer. Just ask yourselves that... The answer will obviously be NO. It is all the fault of ..."

The student was thinking that it must be the fault of sir himself as it is he who taught. But it is the fault of..

"..Co-education. Make pairs and sit in classroom. How can you all concentrate in such a situation. End up in cyber-cafes God knows doing what. Sit in front of TV..."

And the lecture ends with the bell and the doubt still remains.

2."Ram will answer the question. He is my favourite student and I know I have given him enough training to be able to answer the question.So Ram.."

Two cases:

(1) If Ram is present he solves the question most of the time and if he is not able to he is at the receiving end and poor chap he is also thrown out of the class.

(2)If Ram is absent then sir expresses his sadness and tells that he is really sad that the only kid who makes his teaching an enjoyable experience is absent and in that ocean of despondency the doubt is drowned.

3. "Stupid very stupid. I must say last year's teachers were so lineant upon you. Do this one first and show me."

And he starts off with elementary examples that are easy to solve.

4."See...my friends Newton had a similar story..." Saying so hhe narrates a story which I think he must have mugged up from 101 Great Lives and ensures the expansion of the story is long enough and interesting enough for the doubt to be cleared off the kiddo's mind.

5.(And the most-cliched trick teachers all around India use and this had happened with me in school.)

"It is not in the syllabus"

"Ma'm, but you only had told to underline and I have a doubt nevertheless..."

"I can explain it to you but I don't think the class will understand."

I was expecting others in the class to retaliate this thinly-veiled insult but no one did.

I insisted,"OK Ma'm I will come to the staff-room in the break to understand."

And next we have an absconding teacher who when caught gives you a book from a senior class to be read that has no relevance with the topic in hand.

That is the way things work around here.

THE TAG


Came across an interesting 15 Books Tag:

The rules are:
"Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag up to 15 friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose."

(Order does not indicate preference)

1. Lust for Life by Irving Stone - It is the life-story of Van Gogh. The sheer passion and depth of love that Gogh represents overwhelms me... always.

2.Deception Point by Dan Brown - For the love of the grandeur of Brown's thoughts and story-lines blended with science and technology that swept me off my feet.I love the other books of Dan Brown as well.

3.A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking - Non-fiction scientific book about my favourite particle physics and time and God for the layman.

4.The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Kapra - I might have got the spelling wrong of the author. Some Brown's fans may remember as this being one of the books that was on the shelf of Leonardo Vetra in Angels and Demons. Particle physics again closely intwined with God and this is definitely not for the layman.

5.Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman by Mr .Richard P. Feynman - A funky look at this physicist's life apart from Quantum Physics.

6.And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie - I read it in 8th class and I still feel its the best in the detective genre.

7.FPS,1 Night @ Call Centre ,3 Mistakes of My Life by Chetan Bhagat - For getting most of India to read. Very-filmy stories but then I love some of the events. Why does every title of his novel need to have a number? (That's three books but come on guys....)

8.Shock by Robin Cook - Crimes in the medical world can never be written better for the engineering mind.

9.The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - An adventure of a life-time. This huge book does not leave any emotion known to humans untouched.

10.The 5 People You Will Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom - Exploring the meaning of life and other complexities through death.

11. For One More Day by Mitch Albom - It is the best work by this author and has you questioning yourself in the end.

(And why did I put two of Mitch Albom's books separately.You must read both the books to know that.)

12.Harry Potter Series by J. K. Rowling - The series that taught me the true meaning of the word imagination.

13.The Poison Belt, The Lost World and A Collection of Short Stories by Arthur Conan Doyle - My favourite author from the classics ers.

14. The Mating Season by P.G. Wodehouse - The most hilarious of all his books dealing with all the haps and mishaps that can happen during courting.

15.The Best Laid Plans and The Rage of Angels by Sidney Sheldon - For the sheer pace with which Sheldon narrates such stories.

And I tag whoever is reading this and has not already been tagged and specifically Amrit and Saiyona.

ORIGIN: KOTA

DESTINATION: NEW DELHI
TRAIN: SARVODAYA EXPRESS
TIME: SEVEN HOURS

After the delay of an hour we got on the train. Our seats were occupied by some others as is the norm in such trains. But to see 19 people apart from us three in a compartment was some sort of a shock. People were sitting on the space between the two sleeper berths and on the aisle also.

We requested the 'uncle' to get up and as it turned out his entire family was occupying the seats.

"See, we are respectable people. We don't cause problems to others. And if you want us to get up we will."Having said this the 'uncle' kept sitting. Again we asked him to get up. But he told something to same effect and kept sitting.

Luckily after 5 minutes or so the TTE came along and we atleast got a place to sit-although I was isolated and sharing seats with someone else. Actually the others were waitlisted passengers which did not make it to RAC or confirm list. Still they sat. This is India. Still as was evident all these people had really urgent things to attend to and thats why the TTE I guess was lineant. I am enlisting some unique cases:

1.The 'uncle' and his family were going to arrange I guess their daughter's marriage. But tell me why their entire family was accommodating them?

2.There were two boys around the age of 2o years. They occupied the aisle. They had kept the lights on throughout the night as they were studying for their POLICE FORCE Examination (I am forgetting the exact name.) Hats off to them for even attempting to concentrate.

3. There was this farmer with his goat. He seemed to be accompanying a blind beggar. He was the most annoying person. He did not get down on the platform just before his village but pulled the chain moments later and got down in front of his hut. Lazy people....

It was one of those train journeys I would rather forget. We were up the whole night and bored to the core. Still...

(I have been travelling so there was this delay in my posting.)

My cousin had recently paid me a visit. He lives in a town and his trip to Bhubaneswar (ultimately) served a dual purpose.

Firstly his parents went to a local temple and carried out a puja for him. He had this odd problem. At night he would start shouting out things in odd languages kicking and smacking whoever slept beside him. The priest who was performing the puja blammed this behaviour on the misalignment of planets.(Sometimes I wonder if these planets would not be there who would be there to blame.India!!!)


That night he had slept with me. He starts shouting in his sleep. "Pikachu try electric shock. Shin Shan look out there's mom.Doraemon,Pokemon,Digimon....Tom evade attack. Goku and Picollo save Gohan..." Someone save me. This guy was kicking and smacking me. I woke him up and asked him what he was dreaming about. He drank water and slept again. I did not try to sleep again on the bed - the sofa is much better.

Next day things became clearer. I stayed with my cousin the whole day and all he did was watch television and all he watched on television was cartoons. So that's it...He appeared to be a complete addict actually and got on a high as if he is on drugs.




He was watching Tom and Jerry (Who does not love this?) and as there are no dialogues in the cartoon he was giving commentary describing the scenes and characters and descriptions and their associated dialogues - all given in all the three languages he knew. Hey that's good na!His eloquence and extempore was superb.

But as soon as I told this to my aunt and uncle, they were hell bent that this kid needs to be shown to a psychatrist. And they did go...



THE PRESCRIPTION
All cartoon channels be blocked from this child. He suffers from Cartoon-mania.

Months ago my friend Maurya and me were waiting for the school bus to come back from its first trip and then take us home.


"I really like that girl there,"said Maurya.

I said,"Like? I have never seen you talk with her."

"Just noticed her a few times in school.She is so sweet and nice.Just have a look at her eyes. They are so.... so... "

"So what? Beautiful,deep, mystique,intriguing. So what?"

"No. They are so big and round"

Oh!How prosaic! Sometimes beauty is too good for words. Not that I am saying this girl was beautiful. I had not seen her. I was facing Maurya and he was looking at the girl.

"So, go talk to her man"

"No yaar(friend) what shall I go and tell? Plus she is not even looking at me. No yaar. She will look," said the optimist.

45 minutes later

We are still waiting for the bus and Maurya is still looking at the girl.

"I have had enough,"declared Maurya. "I have been trying to make eye contact with her. But she is not even looking at me. Bhau-Khau"

"How will she know you are looking at her and want to talk with her?"Saying this I turned towards her. "See she is looking the other side. How will she know you were looking?"

"Hey look. She is looking this way now.See,"said Maurya. He improvised with his hairstyle and facial expressions - engineering a very cute boy smile.

"I mean why did she look this way after so much time all of a sudden? Why not before?"said Maurya.

"But tell me what advancement did you make by her looking this way."

"Now I get it. The only difference between all that time and this is that you are facing her. So she turned to look at you. Not me. You traitor. You too Brutus. She is like your bhabhi ."

"Cut out the nautanki(drama). I am not interested in her nor for any relationship. Go talk to her if you want to."

And he went ahead and talked to this girl. She smiled and talked nicely or so it seemed from athe place where I stood. Then Maurya came back.

"So what did she say?"I asked.

"I asked her for her Physics notes and Practical copy. And she will give. But you are in luck."

"I?Luck?"

"She asked your name, traitor"

Thank God the bus came then.

Before I went to on this bus to a town called Balasore I had just alighted from a flight and it starts from there.

GAMES TO PLAY IN AN AIRPORT

This photo speaks for itself(and the sub-heading). It is quite blurred because these kids were moving on this trollley at dangerous speeds and my phone's camera is not all that great. Plus there is a third kid who had to do all the pushing.
I wish I had made a video because then you could have seen how this vehicle was avoiding humans, luggages , pillars, beautiful air-hostesses and other trolleys as well.


SWEAT AND AN ODE TO SNAKE-CHARMERS IN INDIAN FILMS
The bus in which I was making this trip had a driver who was a man of his principles. Actually his only principle that I came to know was that the TV in the bus would only be on if the AC was off. So for half the journey all the passengers had to cope up with a video on the TV that showed songs from Indian movies with snake-charmers as heroes and usually another snake -charmer as the villain. And the snake would always be the heroine. No points for guessing why?


It was a quite aboring show though almost all the villagers travelling in the village were catured by pure cinematic joy. I mean how can people enjoy this. Here's a scene.


Aamir Khan(I did not know he had ever played a snake-charmer) and Juhi Chawla were dancing away. Then night fell and they lit a fire. Aamir was warming himself near the fire. Then Juhi appeared on the scene and bit her lip which was a sort of a symbol for Aamir. He then leaves the fire having found another source of heat and joins Juhi and ....
All this was done to the tune of a been or pungi(an instrument played by snake-charmers). OMG.

AC AND A GIRL
Finally half the trip was finished and the AC was on. And this beautiful girl gets on the bus and guess what?. Occupies the seat next to me. Okay. I had at least two hours. So I could talk with her, impress her, modernise her (if she is a small-town girl), exchange phone numbers.... Actions speak louder than words dude. So just as I was mustering up all my courage to break the ice, she starts crying. I have not spoken as yet girl why are you crying? Is there a problem with my aura itself?

"Why are you crying?" I asked.
"No it is nothing." she said.
"Okay so you cry just like that. "

I don't know why but that made her smile. Girls, when they cry and smile at the same time, look really good.
After a while,
"Can you give me the window seat?See I always vomit everytime I travel by bus...,"she asked, still looking down.

As soon as I heard the word vomit, I had gotten up to exchange the seat.After this exhange I thought the ice was broken and I should talk further but just then...

"Can I use your phone? I have to talk with someone and I don't have balance."
Hey this girl was being too much now. God knows how long she will talk. Nevertheless I gave her the phone. All my fears were allayed when she typed a Vodafone number as Vodafone to Vodafone is free. Yipeee!!

"Please try to understand," she was talking on the phone and I could not stop myself from overhearing. "I was not in town that day. Yeah, I am coming there. No you don't go. We will talk first.We just can't end like this."
Was she talking with her boy-friend?
She said the three magic words just before returning the phone and simultaneosly clearing all my doubts once and for all.
Don't build castles or in this case relationships in air guys.

CATCHING A RUNNING BUS
I went down to a shop to have a cold drink when this bus had stopped for a break. I had not finished when this bus started moving. And I ran(I usually avoid running. I don't look good while running.)I had all my original certificates in my luggage which was now on the bus. Why was not the conductor stopping the bus seeing a stranded passenger running. He made a sign for me to catch the bus running. I ran with all I had and finally near the door I made this jump onto the doorstep. The feeling of going from thhe speed I was running to the speed of the bus in milliseconds is a feeling everyone should feel sometime.The acceleration was intoxicating. People in metros do it everyday though.


SPIDERMAN DID NOT DO THIS
The bus was overloaded by the time we reached Balasore. The conductor was hanging out of the bus literally gripping only to one of the handles on the bus. What a feeling must that be! The girl was sitting two windows away from the door. The conductor made a mini-trip then. He held onto the windows and came to the second window to make the transaction as he had not yet taken money from the girl- all this when the bus is in motion. Plus there was not a bit of fear in his face or eyes that he will ever lose grip and consequently his life. He also returned to the door safely.
And finally I reached Balasore.


LOOK OUT!
My mother and me had been to this temple today. As it was Monday there was this huge rush in the temple and there were about a hundred to two hundred people in the room where the Ling was there. The floor was slippery because of a large number of mashed bananas which were supposed to be for the God. Finally both of us managed to get near the God and my mom stood near the corner while I stood beside.

Just then the priest who was standing still till then turned around ....

"Look out, " I shouted.

But the priest had already smashed the coconut on the wall inches away from my mom's face. OMG. Beware guys.

BURNING SAREES & BOUNDLESS FAITH
The following image showcases seemingly innocuous objects called diyas/deeps but can be fatal at times.






These are called diyas or deeps.








A lady's saree's (for all the non-Indian readers its a clothing Indian women wear) end caught fire and slowly burnt its way up but the devoted lady was busy chanting prayers with eyes closed. Anyone would feel that the saree was on fire but this woman was so much into her prayers that she did not seem to notice at first. Finally she did notice when the priest threw a bucket of water at her. The woman obviously was too taken aback by the fire burning out that she fainted.

Amazingly till she was praying she seemed fine. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

FORGIVE & FORGET
People give their offerings to God on this huge round bronze plate. It is usually filled with lots and lots of coins and a few random notes usually those that are torn or crumpled if you notice closely. I was just looking around while my mother finished her prayers and my eyes fell on this lady. Her fingers (and consequently she) were upto no good. She was faking as if she was putting a coin on the plate but actually she was taking away coins. She did this for about two to three times. Quite a thief !

But then all of a sudden she took out those collected coins and kept them back on the plate and looked around for people noticing her great offering because people usually give one or two rupees. God for this lady will forgive and forget.



CCD 2PM

"I am having a break-up," said Shruti.

This news and the cold-drink that I was drinking almost choked me.

"See Debi things are not fine between him and me. I might as well have faked that things are okay since the last few weeks but the truth is I am not okay with him any longer," said Shruti.

"So when are you actually breaking-up?" I asked.

"Today. I will just tell him straight off it's over. If he has got an active brain with a moderate emotional quotient he should have realised it that this was on the cards. I can't go on any longer like this."

This obviously did not open any lines as I was too much of a friend to change lanes but it did give me a feel of curiosity. I really wanted to know how a relationship goes out into oblivion - the dynamics and causes involved. So just out of curiosity I put forth the following proposition.

"So Shruti, why don't you ask him a few things after you break up. I guess he won't fake anything and tell you what is on his mind. You know now that he does not need to fake any emotions if any...."

"I hate authors Debi"

Hey, that was a shock. Such a mundane generalisation.

"Authors never leave a chance to study situations. So now you have a perfect situation in front of you. What more do you need for a spicy post with a little exaggeration and...."

"Shruti, I did not .."

"Just want a situation. You guys never care for emotions. I loved that guy and you don't console or advice or for God's sake do anything that you deign to do but you ask me to ask some questions."

"The only reason I asked you to ask was because you were breaking up and not faking any longer. I did not expect you to break down when you break up. "

That last line stopped the impending tears. We shifted to a lighter topic.

SMS received at 2 AM
i was thinkin nd guess i will ask him the questions. lets c wat he actlly thks. i still hate authors.

I replied
i m just a blogger no author. good night.

HISTORY

In the 21st century a couple of bored Bansalites started out with this game. The task was simple to convert cricket from being a 75 yard field game to it being played in an average-sized room. They started playing with this clip-board for a bat, a rolled paper-ball for a ball and a bucket for a wicket. Obviously that paper ball did not bounce at all, so all balls had to be full-tosses. Very repetitive indeed.So they had to leave this mundane arrangement. These guys simply put cellotape on the paper ball which at least made it possible for it to bounce. After that there was no stopping them. Hours were spent sweating it out in the room. And fans had to be switched off as you know any aerial stroke then ended up being a threat for the lamp, tube-light, clock and etc etc which were saved many times from damage because of uber-quick reflexes of some players. The popularity of the game spread and the entire PG ended up playing it(even the nerds ended up here around 2 am sometimes.)Sometimes they had visiting players from neighbouring PGs as well.








THE PAPER BALL(As preserved in the Museum for Room Cricket , Rudra's Room ,Trivedi Gardens made by the founders themselves.)









EQUIPMENT

1.BAT- Clipboard or a bat-like structure used to clean clothes or sometimes a real bat
2.BALL-Cellotaped paperballs, Smiley Stress Balls(great bounce and sometimes they spun as well.)
3.WICKET-Bucket or sometimes two buckets to give bowlers a good chance.
4.TOWELS- These were the most important because it got really sweaty.
5.BOUNDARY ROPE-The wall at the opposite end.







THE SMILEY STRESS BALL(Introduced by Apu. Available at any stationers for a price varying from Rs 10 - Rs 20)










SKILLS & RULES

Same as the usual cricket.

AWARDS
1.Most Unforgettable Moment Award - Debi(Myself) and Gunjan Misra. I smacked the ball with which Gunjan had promised by his life to get me bowled straight into the tube light and it rained glass and white powder leaving us in sheer darkness.

2.Best Commentator Award- Satvik. He has the best commentating skills and includes vernacular proverbs that make it so funny and enjoyable.(Once a match was abandoned as no one could stop laughing.)

3.Best Camerawork- These matches and the commentary on them were recorded on Apu's phone mostly by Rudra.

4. Best Spinner Award - Robin. He really spins it a lot with that stress ball.

5.Most Damages Award - Debi . I somehow ended up breaking the walls of the PG a lot of times. (Sorry Uncleji for all that noise and bits of walls missing in Rudra's room.)

This post is now available to be put in any physical education book for 12th class.

It was swelteringly hot and five more people stood in front of us in the line at the Vigyan Nagar Post Office. The line was static. Why? The man at the counter said whatever may be the case they won't take letters or parcel during his lunch hours even if he just sat and chat with his colleagues.

Just then three ladies entered the scene.

"Oh My God! What a long line ! ," said Lady A.
"Don't Worry," said Lady B. "There must be a separate line for women. Since there is none now , we will make one."

Saying this she had started a line for women. There was a protest from a person ( obviously bearing a different set of chromosomes) but that was snubbed down easily by the threesome.Other ladies also followed suit as in a game of hearts. My friend Rudra and me were left flabbergasted.

"It is such a waste of time for students when they have to come by themselves to post their forms. I wish the Institute would do something for these students. It would save a lot of time and..." Lady C did not seem to think it proper to keep her conversation private or short.

Suddenly an idea clicked. I went up to Lady B ( the most vulnerable looking) and said ,"Aunty , Can you post the form for me when you are posting yours. A lot of time would be saved. Please Aunty," in my most flattering voice.

"Son, it would be injustice on others standing here if I did this for you. It would be wrong and you are..."

I cut her short. "Thanks a lot, Aunty, anyways" with a lot of stress on the word Aunty.Hypocrites. She had a chance to save my time but no... justice, truth and what not to cover up.

Five minutes later when the counter opened there was some confusion there. Lady B came out of line, in her hand she held half a twenty-rupee note. I say half cause it had so dexterously torn into two halves(one of which she held) that it seemed that it was a note that was folded in half.




See you can't tell whether its folded in half or cut into two halves till you feel which our lady here was too preoccupied to
notice.







"That potato-vendor. I will kill him today. Look at the rascal...., " said Lady B although she was using language that forbade the use of the title.

Serves her right for being so obsessed with justice.

"Thank God, it was not a hundred rupee note," said Lady A as the trio left the post-office.

Now just look at the economics involved. The potato vendor if he got away with the other half he gets away with a total of twenty plus twenty forty rupees. So a profit of twenty rupees if that note was his and a profit of forty rupees if he had found it and also the idea of not discarding it.

Indian trains are so filled with characters to be studied, situations to be observed and time to be killed when the train fails to make it on time. Here is what I went through on a recent one.

1.The Games Daddy Plays on a Departing Train
Morning 6 AM. I decided to sleep as soon as I got myself a seat. But a wailing kid was not letting me snooze. The train had just begun to move and surprisingly as fast as the train was picking up speed, this kid's lamentations were increasing in volume. Almost every person was now glued to this child.

"Papa. Papa." This is what the boy's sobs were punctuated with. Where is this guy 's father?

His mom was nonchalantly smiling at everyone else. Why don't you console your child?

"How will Papa come now mama? The train is moving so fast," staring at the end of the aisle.

"Papa can come son. He will.You see."

"No he won't." And he starts crying at the top of his voice.

From the opposite end, a man who was standing there till then comes in smiling as if he loved the wail. Slowly and suavely he marched down the aisle. He went up to this kid and lifted him- simultaneously silencing the boy. The dad I guess.

"How did you come on this train? It is moving so fast."

"Daddy can do anything, son."

At least that silenced the kid.

2.Don't buy a Newspaper
Never ever buy a newspaper on a train. The entire compartment thinks the newspaper to be theirs. And if you are in a Janshatabdi where an entire compartment is the bogie itself you are in for infringements in your reading of the daily news. But those who do so do it in style and with elan.

Style 1
The man next to you is the most dangerous. He starts reading the news loudly with his comments and views. Then he starts taking away the news page by page without your permission. Then forcefully asks about your thoughts and when you say you have none, he looks at you with an air of disgrace proud of his views.

Style 2
The man in the seat behind you. He is on the alert for the moment you keep the newspaper down. He attacks you straight away and takes it without even deigning to ask.

Style 3
The man in the who you notice does not want to sit even though empty seats abound around him is also quite a piece. He approaches you slowly as if approaching his date and asks "Do you have the newspaper?" and if you answer in the negative "But you were reading it a moent ago."
Such people really have awesome observation skills.

3.A Himesh Reshammiya Fan
Friends, this species is not yet extinct.

Fan: Don't you enjoy HR. HR- He's a Rockstar..
I: No, I don't. He is very repetitive and ..
Fan:Repetitive? HR is not repetitive. That is the last thing anyone would say about HR. Did not you hear the latest hit Tandoori Nights.

He plays the song mentioned on his Made in China phone.

Fan(in unison with the ROCKSTAR) : Tan Tana Tan Tana Tan Tandoori Nights. See the freshness in the tone and lyrics. Tan Tana Tan ...
I: Yeah, right. As fresh as a tandoori out of the grill, na?
Fan: How rightly said. HR is all about passion....

And finally ended his sermon with "JAI MATA DI."

4.Translating Hindi Songs
The train was filled with lots of people who had these chic China cells. And almost all of them had put their favourite number on the playlist playing loudly. Most of these were either old hindi or new oriya songs. I decided to translate one. Saat samundar paar.....
Here is what I came up with at the end.

Seven seas across,
I came over to fuss,
Following you everywhere,
You are such a villain,
That all my beauty goes in vain.

Does not make much sense yet importantly it rhymed.

5. What is IIT?
When you are travelling with a lot of people from rural parts. you do have odd conversations. This guy asked me , "What are you doing- as in working or studying?"
"I have given my exam for IIT and am..."
"What is IIT?"

I was taken aback for a second. Speechless.How are you supposed to give the full feel about something which you are over-obsessed with?

I mumbled, " It is a really good college - the best in India- in which you take admission after 12th."

I think that much should be enough. Beyond that there would be complications.

6.A Train Change
On our return trip .....

Our train had stopped at this really insignificant station and a really scruffy voice shouts,"All passenegers on train number ----( I don't remember) Baripada Express are hereby informed to get onto train number ---- (not this also) Sambalpur Express as the former train won't go further due to an engine failure. Please bear with us."

And within a span of five eventful minutes an entire train had emptied itself of its passengers who had occupied another train that could not be described to anything as close as empty. This Express had changed into a local train with more people standing than sitting. Our mini-trip ended on this train after another 15 minutes.

7. The Feel Of Speed

Whenever you are on an Indian train sometime or the other you are bound to get this feeling of moving at a really high velocity. Although we would be hardly touching an 80. With the wind gushing in and individual bogies not vibrating in phase with each other you really get this feel.
I don't know whether I am exactly able to convey what I want to but I think you must be getting a rough idea of sorts.

I think these many would be enough for now as such this post is too long.


I really have no idea where this relationship with Shruti is going to. All I know it's not love. But love is what we were talking of the other day.

"Love, they say, is the sweetest fever. Love - the most powerful and effective force that ever drove any human in any particular direction. Love, they say, can ignite what time has extinguished. If there ever was a person who ran away from love, he ran away from life.It's a dreamweaver that enables us to dream with open eyes. Love, they say, is nothing short of a miracle if you have found one that's true. If it has to happen, it will... there is no particular way. Love, they say, ...," said Shruti(obviously).

What is wrong with this girl? Love, they say... Love, they say...No one says all this, girl. Only you say such things.Girl, you are in love with love.


I did not stop her from explaining the dynamics of love. At least that gave me an opportunity to look and admire her dusky beauty and catch expressions that Katherine Heigl only can produce on the demand of a director.

"Debi....Are you listening or not? Am I talking with a pillar? Debi.."

"Love , I think, is a compromise. "It is always not rainbows and butterflies sometimes it's just a compromise." That's what Maroon5 had to say about love. Love, I think, always leaves you contemplating. Thinking whether you are in it or just faking it for the sake. Love, I think, is a deception, an illusion that ..."

"You are such a cynic", she cut me short.

"So have you ever loved someone then?" I asked.

"No. I have not. That is why I just kept on telling. Love, they say, not Love I think."

So here I had my chance to tell something nice and romantic- let's clear my image of a cynic. What shall I say? Think, Debi think.

"Don't worry Shruti. Love, they say," I paused for dramatic effect, "takes a moment."

Good job, Debi. That was neat.

"Yeah, you are right Debi but sometimes this one moment takes a lot of time to come."

How true her words were. Perhaps the only thing that was true from what all she had said before. Now she was knowing what's love. Or at least I hoped so.

EDUCATION

I am back today after a two-day trip to my village. My first day there was mostly spent with a Mr. Mishra whose job is to set up free schools for tribal girls in that district. He is a very enterprising man just entering his forties and also very knowledgeable too. He was telling me about the new school he had set up in our village.

"Building a school and getting teachers and other functionaries is the easiest part of having a school here. It's getting students to study that's really difficult. I had to employ five men to go around neighbouring villages to gather students. We managed to get about thirty girls who agreed to attend school. But after the first day the attendance dropped to fifty percent."

"Why did that happen?"

"The girls said they felt hungry and could not sit for such long hours at a stretch. So we decided to give them a couple of breaks of fifteen minutes. We also got our school registered in the Free Afternoon meal programme. But these girls never stopped complaining. They did not want dal and rice everyday. Let me tel you my friend these girls come from families where they only eat two times a day. Still I hung on with them and had them egg and chicken given on alternate days. I am ready to do anything my friend only if they agree to study. But these girls don't seem to be doing anything remotely associated with studying. After a month also, there were lots of them who could not start with the alphabet.I told them that they won't get good marks and one asks me "Sir what shall we do with marks? We can't eat them or live in them."Then these girls made a group and told that it hurt them to walk all the way to school and they were too tired to concentrate at night. So I arranged a vehicle who would collect all these girls to school and drop them later."

"That is so good of you Mr. Mishra. Now these girls must be studying and ..."

Mr . Mishra cut me short.

"These girls are nothing short of scoundrels. They came to me again in a group and told they can't study. It's not that they were not given opportunities. They just can't study. None of them wants to try even."

"Then, what did you do?"

"I called them for a last lesson last Tuesday. My friend who was in the local theater group agreed to help me out. He and two of his colleagues staged a play in which they showed an illiterate girl being exploited in the market: buying overpriced stuff, not being able to know and identify weights and so on. The girls realized then the purpose of education. Next day there was full attendance."

You just can't force things on people even if it is for their own good. Self-realization is very important if any such endeavour has to take a practical shape.

And education needs to be backed with purpose. Education without purpose is useless - similar to teaching a tribal girl The Theory of Relativity.


A MESSAGE
Whatever is in quotes is what I actually told and everything else is what I thought. This message was just to ensure that you stress on that.

EPISODE 1-PUBLISHED
EPISODE 2-PUBLISHED
EPISODE 3-PUBLISHED

EPISODE 1

CCD(Cafe Coffee Day) is definitely not my usual place to hang out because:

  1. You need to order something to be eligible to occupy a seat.
  2. You can't even just sit for a glass of water because you need to pay for that as well.
Still this Friday I was there waiting for a friend whom I had not met for a couple of years. I had ordered the cheapest coffee worth Rs. 22 and was waiting.

That's when my eyes drifted towards this really beautiful girl sitting in the corner with her friends. And her eyes met mine and they locked for a moment more than what might have been considered coincidental. She obviously broke out of that 'eye-lock' first and started talking in an over-excited tone with her friends.

Dude, that's just an arbitrary event. Nothing to make a meaning out of. Maurya, hurry up or God knows what I might end up thinking? Again as my eyes started to explore the geography of the cafe I don't know why they got stuck with this girl. This time around I noticed that she was not that fair but she was very gorgeous. I decided this time to purposely avoid looking that side. Who knows if she has noticed me watching, what she might have thought? It was already 6 o. clock. How long did I have to wait in this place like this? I did not even have a uber-cool phone to kill boredom nor the patience to wait longer.

Okay if Maurya does not come in the next five minutes I leave.

Well Maurya did not come. So guess I had to leave. I paid the bill and decided to leave. I guess it would be of no harm to have another look at that girl before leaving. So near the door, I turned around(stylishly I thought) and my eyes browsed the corner for that angel. Hey where's the girl?

I really wanted to look at her one time more before leaving. But guess fate had decided against it.

Just as I went out, I saw her. She was talking with someone on the phone. As soon as she saw me, she cut short her conversation.

She came up to me and asked ,"You leaving so early. Care for a cup of coffee together."

That left me speechless.

I managed to mumble a yes before opening the door for her.

EPISODE 2

As I followed her back to the seat I had previously occupied I tried to get in 'form'. Now 'form' for a guy/girl caught in a situation like this is the ability to impress that you are smart and that at one shot. In fact let's have a score-board for both me and her and let's see who has got the 'form'.

DEBI-(GIRL)
0-5

5 bonus points to her for being so beautiful.

So what should I do first then?I went ahead and drew the chair out for her and then came over and took the seat in front.That would be like 5 points for gentleman behaviour.

DEBI-(GIRL)
5-5

I asked,"So what's your name?"

She said," Shruti. And yours?"

Shruti. Hmmm.... Nice name then.

"It's Debi,"I said.

"Isn't that a little girlish? I don't mean to hurt but..."

5 marks cut. Now thats rude on her part.

DEBI-SHRUTI
5-0

"Actually thats short for Debidatta as it's a tongue twister for some people."

"You are the same guy. ICSE topper-types na. Yeah, you definitely have this padhakhu(studious) aura now that I am beginning to notice."

Hey how can you do this? At least give me a chance. You can't cut me out just because I did well in my tenth. That's injustice to me and the other geeks in this world.

"Well you don't know me yet do you. I guess you can judge all that later...," and I thought for a while and added ," when we know each other better."

She smiled and that took me off. I was getting a great feeling apart from 5 points for such a timely statement that drew such a beautiful smile from her. Yeah let's give her 5 points as well for the smile.

DEBI-SHRUTI
10-5

"So what do you do apart from hanging out here?" I asked.
"Nothing much actually. I simply hate studies and love almost everything else that is supposed to take me away from them. As such I am a Commerce student. So you know....," and I guess she would have told something else if this waiter would not have appeared.

"One latte. And what do you want?" I asked her.

"I would have a Submarine. And please order at that table in the corner. Thank You."

Hey, what's a submarine? It sounded huge.

"So where were we then? So what do you do apart from studying, studying and just studying," she said.

"Well that's an accusation which I face from lots of people. I enjoy whatever I do, nevertheless."

"Hey, that's the issue. You do only one thing-studying."

5 points to her. What shall I attack next with?

"Well don't you think that makes it all the more difficult to enjoy it. Still I do."

Thats nice. At least it kept me alive in competition. 3 points for quick response then to me.

DEBI-SHRUTI
13-10

"Okay so you a Kutian?" shot Shruti.

My brain carried out a quick operation.
Search: Kutian.
Results: No results in Debi's Vocabulary
Nearest results: Kutta,Kuttia.

Bad vocabs, Debi. Minus 5 for that then.

"So what's a Kutian?" I ventured to ask.

"Guys on Orkut are called Kutians. But guess I need to introduce you..."

"No I do have an account there but I wasn't aware of this little nomenclature."

"Nomen--what? I just know Nauman from Roadies. But you toh ...."

Minus two for her as well.

DEBI-SHRUTI
8-8

"Hey, I watch Roadies. And I know Nauman. This is nomenclature- science of naming and classifying things.Leave so you had noticed me looking at you."

"Well, frankly my whole group had. I don't know why I sort of --- you know---- kind of liked it."

I did not ask what 'it' was and why she liked it. What matters is that she liked 'it'. Good we were finally coming to the point.

"Well you are so beautiful that I just kept looking."

And after this for the first time did she look at me directly eye to eye. Just as I was getting myself ready to drown in the depth of her lovely eyes she broke connection. Guys this is bad now. Just imagine you are going to dive in this pool and you have made your jump and someone has drained the water.

Actually her friends had started to leave, so she even had to hurry up.

"So you have to go then, I guess," I said "What about the submarine?"

I really wanted to see one without ordering.

"That was for my friend. Got to go now," she said and scribbled something on the napkin and left.

I wanted her to turn once before going but she was too busy giggling with her friends.

On the napkin she had written her phone number!

What an idiot I was ? I had not even asked for her phone number!

She deserved lots of points for that.

DEBI-SHRUTI
8-infinite


(This scoreboard thing is not my original brainchild. I had seen this scoreboard used in a movie. So don't accuse me for plagiarizing later)


EPISODE 3

Later that night at my house.

"It can't be so simple,"said Maurya. "No girl is so easy. It's quite filmy and this napkin is not proof enough of her love."

"You are just pissed off because you came late or else all this might have never happened. It happened dude.I can't tell ..."

"Call her then. Call now," he said.

"I can't just call her. I have to prepare myself for that. You know rehearse and get into 'form'.Or for a change. Let's just be myself this time. No rehearsal. Whatsay Maurya?"

"Just call. Why do you think so much?"

I called.

"Hey, it's ringing," I said.

"Wow. What were you expecting? You would call and the phone would turn into Shruti. It's ringing. What's the world coming to?"

The Call

I said,"Hello, Shruti?"

Shruti from the other side," Yeah and you are?"

"Debi. We met today."

"Yeah. Debi I have to tel you something," she said.

I love you obviously.

"Tell."

"Well, my friends had challenged me to spend 10 minutes with a stranger in CCD. So you seemed to have wanted to talk. That's why I had come to your table. Don't feel bad. I am really sorry if I have hurt you. But I had hundred bucks at stake. Hey, are you there? Debi..."

I hung up. Shocking. Mind-numbing.I felt a vacuum in my chest and this very odd feeling of desperation.

"Maurya I am going to sleep." He did not stop me or ask me anything.

When I woke up the next day I got this sms on my phone:
sry for ystrday. but truly u r nice lets meet. today 4pm CCD.
sry again swee2.

This girl always leaves me speechless, always.

So I am going now to meet her. Pray for me brother.


Summers in Orissa are marked by erratic cuts in electricity; often disrupting normal life. It sure did disrupt mine this morning when I had to miss out on the repeat telecast of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. which I had missed out on yesterday. That's like missing the missed.

I was feeling extremely bored and then.......

"How could you do this without asking me?"

That voice seemed to belong to Mr. Misra, a usually cool campaigner, who was now attempting to exercise his vocal chords at maximum amplitude.

Normally I would not have done this but since I was also getting bored to the max I decided to check it out.

The scene in front of Mr. Misra's house was as follows:

Mr. Misra was balking at two government workers who I presumed belonged to the electricity department because of the loop of thick wire that one of them hung by his arm and pointing again and again to a branch of a tree and a big jack-fruit adorning it. Mr. Misra was quoting from the Gita and the Constitution simultaneously about justice, truth and possession. Any gaps in his little speech were appropriately punctuated by counter-arguments from both the workers. And spectators to this debate were about ten people including Mr. Bhandari ,another aged neighbour, a beggar on a wheelchair and myself. Judging by the noise (and publicity) that was being created more on-lookers were on the cards also.

Mr. Mishra: How can you cut a branch of a tree that grows on my garden without asking me?

Worker 1: You were not there. So we cut it. Anyways you should thank us for not cutting the entire tree down.

Worker 2: Your tree was hindering this wire. Plus the little branch had begun twining about these wires and we were getting regular complaints of short circuiting.

Worker 1: We even cut down other things if people come in between our job and us.

Mr. Misra: Like what? You will cut us down someday!

Worker 2: No just the mains wire that gives you current. That should suffice.

Worker 1: Sir, we can't bicker with you the whole day now? We have many wirings to examine and you can see it's not getting any cooler.

Worker 2: Yeah, Shambhu carry this jack-fruit along. It belongs to us now that we have cut it. And also the branch. We will make some fundings out of that branch.

Mr. Misra: No one takes anything away from here. That tree is mine and whatever it bears is mine. You scoundrels had no right to touch it. Now you want to take the fruit away?

Worker 1: Okay then you pay us and keep the branch. But the jack-fruit is definitely ours. You can take a little piece if you want.

Mr. Misra had had enough of this. He did not say anything this time and went into the house. And he came back smiling. He said,"Let's go inside and settle this out over a cup of tea."

Wow! Now that was a paradigm shift. What had caused him to undergo this benevolent transformation? Some Gandhigiri trick or what?

The workers went inside after looking slightly disconcerted though. I guess the show was over. It would be impolite for anyone of us to go in just to witness the deal.

Just then Mr. Misra came out and told Mr. Bhandari, "I have called my friend. He is a Senior Officer in Electricity Department. I will strip these scoundrels of their jobs for sure today."

Having revealed this bit of information he ran inwards.Then Mr. Bhandari and I both started to leave.

"Isn't that the branch and fruit that these people were quarreling about?" , said Mr. Bhandari.

Near the end of the lane, the lame beggar wheeled on as fast as he could with the branch that held the jack-fruit attached to the support of his chair. And then he turned into another lane and out of our sight. I guess it's his now.

1.THE HIGHWAY
Location:Somewhere near Sagar
Characters: Robin, Satwik, Amit and ******

11 PM

Robin said, "Well, let's go somewhere, yaar."

Satwik said, "Let me take you to this really cool place. Me and my friends discovered it last year during our board exams. We got all the confidence with which we gave our exams from this place."

"Let's hit the road then. And yeah let's pick up Amit on the way. He had sms-ed he was getting bored", said Robin putting on his jacket.


11.30 PM

Robin shouted,"This gave you confidence. It's giving me the creeps."

Amit told,"A graveyard should give you the creeps. Why did you bring us here?"

Satwik said, "Well you were getting bored and he wanted to go somewhere. Oh chill man nothing happens the ghosts are dead. If thats what is scaring you Amit then no need to come in ."

Amit said,"You are going in?"

Satwik replied,"Ya IGI: I'm Going In and even Robin is. Aren't you coming in Robin?"

Robin said,"Well let's come back tomorrow. Let's go back home today and muster up all courage we have say good bye to our girl-friends and parents and then come here tomorrow, ok.It's a promise. I hope that's ok with you Amit?"

Amit okayed , Satwik grunted and the graveyard plan was discarded.

They came out onto the highway. Satwik went straight to the middle of the road and ...... well he laid himself on the road.Robin followed.

Satwik said,"It's quite warm. Come on Amit feel the heat. Anyways it's quite cold out here"

"Don't you think a truck might come and crush all of us if we sleep there,"said Amit .

"Come on don't be such a cheapo. We can know whether a truck, a bus or a cycle is coming when it is 2 to 3 kms away," said Satwik

"No leave me alone.Okay let me click photos of you guys to put on orkut,"said Amit

He turned his bike on and lighted the entire road. So there they had a photo-shoot for half an hour or so. They shot photos in almost every pose that each one could offer.

Finally as everyone had had enough of this and were about to leave a jeep came along. No one understood why it stopped: guess it was odd for 3 young guys to hang out at midnight on a public highway.

4 00 AM

Satwik said, "Dad, can you come to the police station now? No i have been arrested for taking drugs. No obviously I did not. Please ......

PS: ****** - POLICE


2. THE 'LOOTERA'

Location: Dusshera Mela, Kota
Characters:Apu, Rahul, Rudra and myself

We had just reached the Dusshera Grounds and the enormity of the fair this year left us stunned. People seemed to be rushing in from all directions. Everyone around us seemed to have put on their best clothes for this occasion. In fact for the localites this is a huge event something like Christmas: it comes once a year but it surely is the best time. We caught sight of a newly married couple(most probably) who were thinking that they were a part and parcel of the crowd and their public display of affection would go unnoticed, then came along an aunty who seemed to have put on all her gold on herself (for unrestricted public exhibition)that she had accumulated till that day( why do these people think that there would be others who would notice that in all that crowd. I mean who cares?) and then came along this girl who had successfully transformed herself into an albino(How? Talc obviously) : she was having a little difficulty to walk with grace with those stilettos but she managed somehow and so on. I mean everybody there seemed to want attention: well they did catch my eye .

Just at the entrance to the fair, there was this man with a stall: there was a gun and balloons to shoot at. The prospect of using a gun really got some hormones activated but then when I saw the muzzle of the gun was inches away from the balloons I guess whatever feeling had been aroused by those chemicals subsided and I decided not to have a shot. But Rahul, Apu and Rudra were quite excited and started shooting. They shot one bullet, the man opened the barrel filled it up and again they shot. This went on for quite some time and finally they had had enough and even I had had enough of waiting.

Apu asked the man, "So how much did it cost?"

The man replied,"Fifty rupees."

What the -- Fifty rupees for shooting at balloons from a distance less than their diameter. That was too much.

Apu asked,"So how many shots did you both shoot?"

Rudra and Rahul had not counted. Neither had Apu nor had I counted.

Apu concluded,"That guy was a lootera, man."

So we had no option but to pay fifty bucks and leave. Guys beware of such looteras. For example with the golgappa/gupchup vendors do keep a count or you might be losing out on some free fund.


3.THE HUMAN PROJECTILE
Location: Dusshera Mela, Kota

I hope you all have seen a boat that does a sort of periodic motion in a vertical circle in amusement parks or in local melas. The boat in this mela was overloaded by say 20 to 40 extra people. I say 'extra' because these people were not even sitting . They stood on the side-rails and held onto the bars of the boat as it swung to and fro. I find just sitting on that boat a ride my mind and body can just survive but standing on that was out of question.

Just as I was thinking how scary a ride it was being for these people one brave-heart let go of his bar, stretched his hands , got carried away with the cacophonous music and did a Titanic( i mean he just spread his arms) and this time when the boat was going down the man did not go down. He went up: thrown tangentially out into nothingness. And just like a ball thrown he flew out and then BANG. He was lucky enough to just miss the ride that was beside it. He was not bleeding but he was obviously in pain.

Now in such places there is usually no first aid available. A young boy came running from God knows where and started slapping the person into his senses. Well, that was the only first aid he got. Few men came and took him away to a tent nearby.No one else on the boat noticed his absence. The show must go on and it did.

Next time you go to a mela just be careful.



PS: And yeah please comment individually on the three events.


The Media

As I was zapping through the channels on my tv set the other day, I came across a weird piece of 'news' on a really obnoxious channel called Ind**TV. A very dramatic and excited voice narrated the following:

"Why?Exactly why do you think these two batsman Herschelle Gibbs and J P Duminy are playing well? People I plead you to think what might be the reason.Notice these two photos closely. I think you can tell why they are playing so well. Yes, my viewers its exactly what you think. They play so well because they are both... because they are both ........ bald."

Wow! Could never have figured that out myself. Then that guy who calls himself a journalist went on to tell about what ingredients might have been mixed in the 'prasad' given by Priety Zinta to the Kings XI and what might be the reason why Kevin Peterson was the only person from the opponents side to have eaten that prasad. That person went onto narrate various theories regarding it. I don't know about news but when it comes to expanding your imagination and widening your thought process about the weirdest possibilities this channel surely helps.

Among the other stuff broadcast by this channel are :
1.When is the world coming to an end?
2.Who is the left-handed magician that is bringing the world to his feet?(Answer: Barrack Obama)
3.Who brought the left-handed magician to his feet?(Answer: His helicopter when the US Prez got struck with the door of the helicopter)
4.Why is ******** Baba not leaving his house anymore?
and lots more...

From where does this channel get such audacity to show all this on national tv for hours and hours together? (Nowadays everyone is getting more and more daring. For instance, the question setters of maths in CBSE XII exam. I still now can't digest the fact that these guys asked us the HCF of two numbers directly. It felt like a slap on my face. Questioning a class XII student about class III stuff.)The crew at that channel are doing the obvious. Going by the fact that most of India is superstitious, ill-educated (still) and cannot take too much substance at one time, they are broadcasting such weird ideas. What they need is TRP so they target religion in India. Well who does not? From the politicians to the conservative parents everyone has religion that they can use as a weapon. That is somehow a really big weakness in our integrity. We attach so much passion with it that we forget how some people are taking advantage of it.(We here does not imply me or you its for the general people. I don't have that much a connection with religion. My friends obviously had other divine purposes why they visit temples regularly: to praise the 'divine' beauty.)

Everything needs to be dramatized in the Indian media to sell.(Well this is an accepted fact in India. Thats why Om Shanti Om,Heyy Baby,Singh is King got better box office results than Aamir,Mumbai Meri Jaan,Firaaq and even Slumdog Millionaire). Somehow the general public in India does not want substance. We would prefer a hero that beats up gangs of gangsters alone(Ghajini) rather than a realistic hero who dies due to a bomb attack. We must somehow ensure that no one takes advantage of the way we are.Thats not definitely what these news guys must be thinking. Everytime I zap through this channel I am reminded of a ill-directed theatrical performance. Why can't they just tell the news after all there are other channels on air that serve the purpose they are trying to?( Sometimes you can catch repeat telecasts of your favourite soaps right here in news channels.) I would prefer to watch a regional news channel than this national channel;at least I would get news.Barring a couple of channels that are still virgin to all these tactics and still give pure news ,all the others in some proportion or the other sell dramatised news. Guess its only when we change will these news channels change.

We have tried the iPod and the iPhone , for once lets try this new gadget:
iChange.




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