Impulsive Expressions

Indian trains are so filled with characters to be studied, situations to be observed and time to be killed when the train fails to make it on time. Here is what I went through on a recent one.

1.The Games Daddy Plays on a Departing Train
Morning 6 AM. I decided to sleep as soon as I got myself a seat. But a wailing kid was not letting me snooze. The train had just begun to move and surprisingly as fast as the train was picking up speed, this kid's lamentations were increasing in volume. Almost every person was now glued to this child.

"Papa. Papa." This is what the boy's sobs were punctuated with. Where is this guy 's father?

His mom was nonchalantly smiling at everyone else. Why don't you console your child?

"How will Papa come now mama? The train is moving so fast," staring at the end of the aisle.

"Papa can come son. He will.You see."

"No he won't." And he starts crying at the top of his voice.

From the opposite end, a man who was standing there till then comes in smiling as if he loved the wail. Slowly and suavely he marched down the aisle. He went up to this kid and lifted him- simultaneously silencing the boy. The dad I guess.

"How did you come on this train? It is moving so fast."

"Daddy can do anything, son."

At least that silenced the kid.

2.Don't buy a Newspaper
Never ever buy a newspaper on a train. The entire compartment thinks the newspaper to be theirs. And if you are in a Janshatabdi where an entire compartment is the bogie itself you are in for infringements in your reading of the daily news. But those who do so do it in style and with elan.

Style 1
The man next to you is the most dangerous. He starts reading the news loudly with his comments and views. Then he starts taking away the news page by page without your permission. Then forcefully asks about your thoughts and when you say you have none, he looks at you with an air of disgrace proud of his views.

Style 2
The man in the seat behind you. He is on the alert for the moment you keep the newspaper down. He attacks you straight away and takes it without even deigning to ask.

Style 3
The man in the who you notice does not want to sit even though empty seats abound around him is also quite a piece. He approaches you slowly as if approaching his date and asks "Do you have the newspaper?" and if you answer in the negative "But you were reading it a moent ago."
Such people really have awesome observation skills.

3.A Himesh Reshammiya Fan
Friends, this species is not yet extinct.

Fan: Don't you enjoy HR. HR- He's a Rockstar..
I: No, I don't. He is very repetitive and ..
Fan:Repetitive? HR is not repetitive. That is the last thing anyone would say about HR. Did not you hear the latest hit Tandoori Nights.

He plays the song mentioned on his Made in China phone.

Fan(in unison with the ROCKSTAR) : Tan Tana Tan Tana Tan Tandoori Nights. See the freshness in the tone and lyrics. Tan Tana Tan ...
I: Yeah, right. As fresh as a tandoori out of the grill, na?
Fan: How rightly said. HR is all about passion....

And finally ended his sermon with "JAI MATA DI."

4.Translating Hindi Songs
The train was filled with lots of people who had these chic China cells. And almost all of them had put their favourite number on the playlist playing loudly. Most of these were either old hindi or new oriya songs. I decided to translate one. Saat samundar paar.....
Here is what I came up with at the end.

Seven seas across,
I came over to fuss,
Following you everywhere,
You are such a villain,
That all my beauty goes in vain.

Does not make much sense yet importantly it rhymed.

5. What is IIT?
When you are travelling with a lot of people from rural parts. you do have odd conversations. This guy asked me , "What are you doing- as in working or studying?"
"I have given my exam for IIT and am..."
"What is IIT?"

I was taken aback for a second. Speechless.How are you supposed to give the full feel about something which you are over-obsessed with?

I mumbled, " It is a really good college - the best in India- in which you take admission after 12th."

I think that much should be enough. Beyond that there would be complications.

6.A Train Change
On our return trip .....

Our train had stopped at this really insignificant station and a really scruffy voice shouts,"All passenegers on train number ----( I don't remember) Baripada Express are hereby informed to get onto train number ---- (not this also) Sambalpur Express as the former train won't go further due to an engine failure. Please bear with us."

And within a span of five eventful minutes an entire train had emptied itself of its passengers who had occupied another train that could not be described to anything as close as empty. This Express had changed into a local train with more people standing than sitting. Our mini-trip ended on this train after another 15 minutes.

7. The Feel Of Speed
Whenever you are on an Indian train sometime or the other you are bound to get this feeling of moving at a really high velocity. Although we would be hardly touching an 80. With the wind gushing in and individual bogies not vibrating in phase with each other you really get this feel.
I don't know whether I am exactly able to convey what I want to but I think you must be getting a rough idea of sorts.

I think these many would be enough for now as such this post is too long.

I really have no idea where this relationship with Shruti is going to. All I know it's not love. But love is what we were talking of the other day.

"Love, they say, is the sweetest fever. Love - the most powerful and effective force that ever drove any human in any particular direction. Love, they say, can ignite what time has extinguished. If there ever was a person who ran away from love, he ran away from life.It's a dreamweaver that enables us to dream with open eyes. Love, they say, is nothing short of a miracle if you have found one that's true. If it has to happen, it will... there is no particular way. Love, they say, ...," said Shruti(obviously).

What is wrong with this girl? Love, they say... Love, they say...No one says all this, girl. Only you say such things.Girl, you are in love with love.

I did not stop her from explaining the dynamics of love. At least that gave me an opportunity to look and admire her dusky beauty and catch expressions that Katherine Heigl only can produce on the demand of a director.

"Debi....Are you listening or not? Am I talking with a pillar? Debi.."

"Love , I think, is a compromise. "It is always not rainbows and butterflies sometimes it's just a compromise." That's what Maroon5 had to say about love. Love, I think, always leaves you contemplating. Thinking whether you are in it or just faking it for the sake. Love, I think, is a deception, an illusion that ..."

"You are such a cynic", she cut me short.

"So have you ever loved someone then?" I asked.

"No. I have not. That is why I just kept on telling. Love, they say, not Love I think."

So here I had my chance to tell something nice and romantic- let's clear my image of a cynic. What shall I say? Think, Debi think.

"Don't worry Shruti. Love, they say," I paused for dramatic effect, "takes a moment."

Good job, Debi. That was neat.

"Yeah, you are right Debi but sometimes this one moment takes a lot of time to come."

How true her words were. Perhaps the only thing that was true from what all she had said before. Now she was knowing what's love. Or at least I hoped so.

EDUCATION

I am back today after a two-day trip to my village. My first day there was mostly spent with a Mr. Mishra whose job is to set up free schools for tribal girls in that district. He is a very enterprising man just entering his forties and also very knowledgeable too. He was telling me about the new school he had set up in our village.

"Building a school and getting teachers and other functionaries is the easiest part of having a school here. It's getting students to study that's really difficult. I had to employ five men to go around neighbouring villages to gather students. We managed to get about thirty girls who agreed to attend school. But after the first day the attendance dropped to fifty percent."

"Why did that happen?"

"The girls said they felt hungry and could not sit for such long hours at a stretch. So we decided to give them a couple of breaks of fifteen minutes. We also got our school registered in the Free Afternoon meal programme. But these girls never stopped complaining. They did not want dal and rice everyday. Let me tel you my friend these girls come from families where they only eat two times a day. Still I hung on with them and had them egg and chicken given on alternate days. I am ready to do anything my friend only if they agree to study. But these girls don't seem to be doing anything remotely associated with studying. After a month also, there were lots of them who could not start with the alphabet.I told them that they won't get good marks and one asks me "Sir what shall we do with marks? We can't eat them or live in them."Then these girls made a group and told that it hurt them to walk all the way to school and they were too tired to concentrate at night. So I arranged a vehicle who would collect all these girls to school and drop them later."

"That is so good of you Mr. Mishra. Now these girls must be studying and ..."

Mr . Mishra cut me short.

"These girls are nothing short of scoundrels. They came to me again in a group and told they can't study. It's not that they were not given opportunities. They just can't study. None of them wants to try even."

"Then, what did you do?"

"I called them for a last lesson last Tuesday. My friend who was in the local theater group agreed to help me out. He and two of his colleagues staged a play in which they showed an illiterate girl being exploited in the market: buying overpriced stuff, not being able to know and identify weights and so on. The girls realized then the purpose of education. Next day there was full attendance."

You just can't force things on people even if it is for their own good. Self-realization is very important if any such endeavour has to take a practical shape.

And education needs to be backed with purpose. Education without purpose is useless - similar to teaching a tribal girl The Theory of Relativity.

A MESSAGE
Whatever is in quotes is what I actually told and everything else is what I thought. This message was just to ensure that you stress on that.

EPISODE 1-PUBLISHED
EPISODE 2-PUBLISHED
EPISODE 3-PUBLISHED

EPISODE 1

CCD(Cafe Coffee Day) is definitely not my usual place to hang out because:

1. You need to order something to be eligible to occupy a seat.
2. You can't even just sit for a glass of water because you need to pay for that as well.

Summers in Orissa are marked by erratic cuts in electricity; often disrupting normal life. It sure did disrupt mine this morning when I had to miss out on the repeat telecast of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. which I had missed out on yesterday. That's like missing the missed.

I was feeling extremely bored and then.......

"How could you do this without asking me?"

That voice seemed to belong to Mr. Misra, a usually cool campaigner, who was now attempting to exercise his vocal chords at maximum amplitude.

Normally I would not have done this but since I was also getting bored to the max I decided to check it out.

The scene in front of Mr. Misra's house was as follows:

Mr. Misra was balking at two government workers who I presumed belonged to the electricity department because of the loop of thick wire that one of them hung by his arm and pointing again and again to a branch of a tree and a big jack-fruit adorning it. Mr. Misra was quoting from the Gita and the Constitution simultaneously about justice, truth and possession. Any gaps in his little speech were appropriately punctuated by counter-arguments from both the workers. And spectators to this debate were about ten people including Mr. Bhandari ,another aged neighbour, a beggar on a wheelchair and myself. Judging by the noise (and publicity) that was being created more on-lookers were on the cards also.

Mr. Mishra: How can you cut a branch of a tree that grows on my garden without asking me?

Worker 1: You were not there. So we cut it. Anyways you should thank us for not cutting the entire tree down.

Worker 2: Your tree was hindering this wire. Plus the little branch had begun twining about these wires and we were getting regular complaints of short circuiting.

Worker 1: We even cut down other things if people come in between our job and us.

Mr. Misra: Like what? You will cut us down someday!

Worker 2: No just the mains wire that gives you current. That should suffice.

Worker 1: Sir, we can't bicker with you the whole day now? We have many wirings to examine and you can see it's not getting any cooler.

Worker 2: Yeah, Shambhu carry this jack-fruit along. It belongs to us now that we have cut it. And also the branch. We will make some fundings out of that branch.

Mr. Misra: No one takes anything away from here. That tree is mine and whatever it bears is mine. You scoundrels had no right to touch it. Now you want to take the fruit away?

Worker 1: Okay then you pay us and keep the branch. But the jack-fruit is definitely ours. You can take a little piece if you want.

Mr. Misra had had enough of this. He did not say anything this time and went into the house. And he came back smiling. He said,"Let's go inside and settle this out over a cup of tea."

Wow! Now that was a paradigm shift. What had caused him to undergo this benevolent transformation? Some Gandhigiri trick or what?

The workers went inside after looking slightly disconcerted though. I guess the show was over. It would be impolite for anyone of us to go in just to witness the deal.

Just then Mr. Misra came out and told Mr. Bhandari, "I have called my friend. He is a Senior Officer in Electricity Department. I will strip these scoundrels of their jobs for sure today."

Having revealed this bit of information he ran inwards.Then Mr. Bhandari and I both started to leave.

"Isn't that the branch and fruit that these people were quarreling about?" , said Mr. Bhandari.

Near the end of the lane, the lame beggar wheeled on as fast as he could with the branch that held the jack-fruit attached to the support of his chair. And then he turned into another lane and out of our sight. I guess it's his now.

1.THE HIGHWAY
Location:Somewhere near Sagar
Characters: Robin, Satwik, Amit and ******

11 PM

Robin said, "Well, let's go somewhere, yaar."

Satwik said, "Let me take you to this really cool place. Me and my friends discovered it last year during our board exams. We got all the confidence with which we gave our exams from this place."

"Let's hit the road then. And yeah let's pick up Amit on the way. He had sms-ed he was getting bored", said Robin putting on his jacket.


11.30 PM

Robin shouted,"This gave you confidence. It's giving me the creeps."

Amit told,"A graveyard should give you the creeps. Why did you bring us here?"

Satwik said, "Well you were getting bored and he wanted to go somewhere. Oh chill man nothing happens the ghosts are dead. If thats what is scaring you Amit then no need to come in ."

Amit said,"You are going in?"

Satwik replied,"Ya IGI: I'm Going In and even Robin is. Aren't you coming in Robin?"

Robin said,"Well let's come back tomorrow. Let's go back home today and muster up all courage we have say good bye to our girl-friends and parents and then come here tomorrow, ok.It's a promise. I hope that's ok with you Amit?"

Amit okayed , Satwik grunted and the graveyard plan was discarded.

They came out onto the highway. Satwik went straight to the middle of the road and ...... well he laid himself on the road.Robin followed.

Satwik said,"It's quite warm. Come on Amit feel the heat. Anyways it's quite cold out here"

"Don't you think a truck might come and crush all of us if we sleep there,"said Amit .

"Come on don't be such a cheapo. We can know whether a truck, a bus or a cycle is coming when it is 2 to 3 kms away," said Satwik

"No leave me alone.Okay let me click photos of you guys to put on orkut,"said Amit

He turned his bike on and lighted the entire road. So there they had a photo-shoot for half an hour or so. They shot photos in almost every pose that each one could offer.

Finally as everyone had had enough of this and were about to leave a jeep came along. No one understood why it stopped: guess it was odd for 3 young guys to hang out at midnight on a public highway.

4 00 AM

Satwik said, "Dad, can you come to the police station now? No i have been arrested for taking drugs. No obviously I did not. Please ......

PS: ****** - POLICE


2. THE 'LOOTERA'
Location: Dusshera Mela, Kota
Characters:Apu, Rahul, Rudra and myself

We had just reached the Dusshera Grounds and the enormity of the fair this year left us stunned. People seemed to be rushing in from all directions. Everyone around us seemed to have put on their best clothes for this occasion. In fact for the localites this is a huge event something like Christmas: it comes once a year but it surely is the best time. We caught sight of a newly married couple(most probably) who were thinking that they were a part and parcel of the crowd and their public display of affection would go unnoticed, then came along an aunty who seemed to have put on all her gold on herself (for unrestricted public exhibition)that she had accumulated till that day( why do these people think that there would be others who would notice that in all that crowd. I mean who cares?) and then came along this girl who had successfully transformed herself into an albino(How? Talc obviously) : she was having a little difficulty to walk with grace with those stilettos but she managed somehow and so on. I mean everybody there seemed to want attention: well they did catch my eye .

Just at the entrance to the fair, there was this man with a stall: there was a gun and balloons to shoot at. The prospect of using a gun really got some hormones activated but then when I saw the muzzle of the gun was inches away from the balloons I guess whatever feeling had been aroused by those chemicals subsided and I decided not to have a shot. But Rahul, Apu and Rudra were quite excited and started shooting. They shot one bullet, the man opened the barrel filled it up and again they shot. This went on for quite some time and finally they had had enough and even I had had enough of waiting.

Apu asked the man, "So how much did it cost?"

The man replied,"Fifty rupees."

What the -- Fifty rupees for shooting at balloons from a distance less than their diameter. That was too much.

Apu asked,"So how many shots did you both shoot?"

Rudra and Rahul had not counted. Neither had Apu nor had I counted.

Apu concluded,"That guy was a lootera, man."

So we had no option but to pay fifty bucks and leave. Guys beware of such looteras. For example with the golgappa/gupchup vendors do keep a count or you might be losing out on some free fund.


3.THE HUMAN PROJECTILE
Location: Dusshera Mela, Kota

I hope you all have seen a boat that does a sort of periodic motion in a vertical circle in amusement parks or in local melas. The boat in this mela was overloaded by say 20 to 40 extra people. I say 'extra' because these people were not even sitting . They stood on the side-rails and held onto the bars of the boat as it swung to and fro. I find just sitting on that boat a ride my mind and body can just survive but standing on that was out of question.

Just as I was thinking how scary a ride it was being for these people one brave-heart let go of his bar, stretched his hands , got carried away with the cacophonous music and did a Titanic( i mean he just spread his arms) and this time when the boat was going down the man did not go down. He went up: thrown tangentially out into nothingness. And just like a ball thrown he flew out and then BANG. He was lucky enough to just miss the ride that was beside it. He was not bleeding but he was obviously in pain.

Now in such places there is usually no first aid available. A young boy came running from God knows where and started slapping the person into his senses. Well, that was the only first aid he got. Few men came and took him away to a tent nearby.No one else on the boat noticed his absence. The show must go on and it did.

Next time you go to a mela just be careful.


PS: And yeah please comment individually on the three events.

Friends I need to do this before I post anything significant.

Two years back ..... I was a philosophical fool. I added hysterical metaphors, out-of-the world similes and wayward thoughts in all my essays, stories and whatever stuff i wrote. Whenever I come across a stray manuscript of mine I always end up telling "How immature my writing actually was?" (Don't even think what does 'immature' exactly signifies.) Yet I enjoyed writing, so I wrote.

Well then came 2 years in Kota which actually drained all the figures of speech out of my life. With Physics, Chemistry and Maths always around any scope for literary activities was lost.
Writing anything would mean losing out on time to study. So I did not write. Kota brought with itself a very deep sense of practicality in everything. But now with this weird feeling of being unemployed and just being lethargic the whole day I wanted to write again. And then Santwana suggested about writing a blog(which I had introduced her to a few months back). And then there was....... "Impulsive Expressions"


Comments , criticisms and back-bites always welcome.