Impulsive Expressions

"Okay." So finally she had found someone for me. YIPEEE!!!

"Hi." Said a defintively male voice.

I said hello as instructed and he kept the phone. So this girl is trying to hook me up with a guy or what? I needed an explanation.

She called five minutes later.

"Debi, thanks a lot. That guy was such a bore. Let me tel you then what all he has been telling..."

That made me heave a sigh of relief and all my questions were answered(at least those that mattered.)

"See. Anurag is this guy in my class. He somehow got my phone number and is calling me up at odd hours. First up he calls and when I ask him his name he tells "What's in a name oh pretty maiden, call me by any I will still be yours " and then after a pause adds "by Shakespeare with the help of Anurag." So Debi see he actually gives me his name but ..."

"...praises himself also.He has style then. Quite a casanova you have got there," I say looking at the broken watch on my table.

"I talked first. Just like that. But he does not want just like that. He wants all that. Comes up with cheesy romantic lines and bores. He must have told that I am beautiful about a hundred times in the two times he has actually called. Seriously boys do get a little over-confident on phone, Orkut, Facebook etc etc as compared to real-life.But I know he is just a 'windy' guy."

She really knows guys then. Or at least thinks so? But another terminology after Kutian.'Windy.."

"'Windy' meaning?" asked a confused Debi.

"Windy as in who talks a lot and thus creates a lot of wind and is incapable of strong action. So today when he called first I let it ring and then informed you. So he thought my father or brother picked up and thus hung."

Smart thinking there (na?). Seriously girls in colleges and in higher education ar subject to such idiotic overtures of 'friendship' and I guess Shruti did come up with a good way to avoid but then you need to have conference call facility for that.

But in the secondary level I have seen, have heard about and have been taught also by some queer teachers. And what I have noticed is that these guys have their own pre-planned escape routes if their present knowledge is not good enough to answer a doubt.

Here are some unique situations:

1.The teacher stares hard at the question and finally is enlightened to the fact that he is not enlightened enough to enlighten the student and lightens himself of the book.

And looks around the class and starts a lecture like this :

"You students will study.... Before asking such questions you all must realise whether you deserve to know the answer, whether you are capable to know the answer. Just ask yourselves that... The answer will obviously be NO. It is all the fault of ..."

The student was thinking that it must be the fault of sir himself as it is he who taught. But it is the fault of..

"..Co-education. Make pairs and sit in classroom. How can you all concentrate in such a situation. End up in cyber-cafes God knows doing what. Sit in front of TV..."

And the lecture ends with the bell and the doubt still remains.

2."Ram will answer the question. He is my favourite student and I know I have given him enough training to be able to answer the question.So Ram.."

Two cases:

(1) If Ram is present he solves the question most of the time and if he is not able to he is at the receiving end and poor chap he is also thrown out of the class.

(2)If Ram is absent then sir expresses his sadness and tells that he is really sad that the only kid who makes his teaching an enjoyable experience is absent and in that ocean of despondency the doubt is drowned.

3. "Stupid very stupid. I must say last year's teachers were so lineant upon you. Do this one first and show me."

And he starts off with elementary examples that are easy to solve.

4."See...my friends Newton had a similar story..." Saying so hhe narrates a story which I think he must have mugged up from 101 Great Lives and ensures the expansion of the story is long enough and interesting enough for the doubt to be cleared off the kiddo's mind.

5.(And the most-cliched trick teachers all around India use and this had happened with me in school.)

"It is not in the syllabus"

"Ma'm, but you only had told to underline and I have a doubt nevertheless..."

"I can explain it to you but I don't think the class will understand."

I was expecting others in the class to retaliate this thinly-veiled insult but no one did.

I insisted,"OK Ma'm I will come to the staff-room in the break to understand."

And next we have an absconding teacher who when caught gives you a book from a senior class to be read that has no relevance with the topic in hand.

That is the way things work around here.