I must admit to be a teacher is one of the most difficult jobs in this age especially in the primary level when apart from imparting education you also need to inculcate moral values.


But in the secondary level I have seen, have heard about and have been taught also by some queer teachers. And what I have noticed is that these guys have their own pre-planned escape routes if their present knowledge is not good enough to answer a doubt.

Q:Sir, I have a doubt in Q3.

Here are some unique situations:

1.The teacher stares hard at the question and finally is enlightened to the fact that he is not enlightened enough to enlighten the student and lightens himself of the book.

And looks around the class and starts a lecture like this :

"You students will study.... Before asking such questions you all must realise whether you deserve to know the answer, whether you are capable to know the answer. Just ask yourselves that... The answer will obviously be NO. It is all the fault of ..."

The student was thinking that it must be the fault of sir himself as it is he who taught. But it is the fault of..

"..Co-education. Make pairs and sit in classroom. How can you all concentrate in such a situation. End up in cyber-cafes God knows doing what. Sit in front of TV..."

And the lecture ends with the bell and the doubt still remains.

2."Ram will answer the question. He is my favourite student and I know I have given him enough training to be able to answer the question.So Ram.."

Two cases:

(1) If Ram is present he solves the question most of the time and if he is not able to he is at the receiving end and poor chap he is also thrown out of the class.

(2)If Ram is absent then sir expresses his sadness and tells that he is really sad that the only kid who makes his teaching an enjoyable experience is absent and in that ocean of despondency the doubt is drowned.

3. "Stupid very stupid. I must say last year's teachers were so lineant upon you. Do this one first and show me."

And he starts off with elementary examples that are easy to solve.

4."See...my friends Newton had a similar story..." Saying so hhe narrates a story which I think he must have mugged up from 101 Great Lives and ensures the expansion of the story is long enough and interesting enough for the doubt to be cleared off the kiddo's mind.

5.(And the most-cliched trick teachers all around India use and this had happened with me in school.)

"It is not in the syllabus"

"Ma'm, but you only had told to underline and I have a doubt nevertheless..."

"I can explain it to you but I don't think the class will understand."

I was expecting others in the class to retaliate this thinly-veiled insult but no one did.

I insisted,"OK Ma'm I will come to the staff-room in the break to understand."

And next we have an absconding teacher who when caught gives you a book from a senior class to be read that has no relevance with the topic in hand.

That is the way things work around here.

THE TAG


Came across an interesting 15 Books Tag:

The rules are:
"Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag up to 15 friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose."

(Order does not indicate preference)

1. Lust for Life by Irving Stone - It is the life-story of Van Gogh. The sheer passion and depth of love that Gogh represents overwhelms me... always.

2.Deception Point by Dan Brown - For the love of the grandeur of Brown's thoughts and story-lines blended with science and technology that swept me off my feet.I love the other books of Dan Brown as well.

3.A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking - Non-fiction scientific book about my favourite particle physics and time and God for the layman.

4.The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Kapra - I might have got the spelling wrong of the author. Some Brown's fans may remember as this being one of the books that was on the shelf of Leonardo Vetra in Angels and Demons. Particle physics again closely intwined with God and this is definitely not for the layman.

5.Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman by Mr .Richard P. Feynman - A funky look at this physicist's life apart from Quantum Physics.

6.And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie - I read it in 8th class and I still feel its the best in the detective genre.

7.FPS,1 Night @ Call Centre ,3 Mistakes of My Life by Chetan Bhagat - For getting most of India to read. Very-filmy stories but then I love some of the events. Why does every title of his novel need to have a number? (That's three books but come on guys....)

8.Shock by Robin Cook - Crimes in the medical world can never be written better for the engineering mind.

9.The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - An adventure of a life-time. This huge book does not leave any emotion known to humans untouched.

10.The 5 People You Will Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom - Exploring the meaning of life and other complexities through death.

11. For One More Day by Mitch Albom - It is the best work by this author and has you questioning yourself in the end.

(And why did I put two of Mitch Albom's books separately.You must read both the books to know that.)

12.Harry Potter Series by J. K. Rowling - The series that taught me the true meaning of the word imagination.

13.The Poison Belt, The Lost World and A Collection of Short Stories by Arthur Conan Doyle - My favourite author from the classics ers.

14. The Mating Season by P.G. Wodehouse - The most hilarious of all his books dealing with all the haps and mishaps that can happen during courting.

15.The Best Laid Plans and The Rage of Angels by Sidney Sheldon - For the sheer pace with which Sheldon narrates such stories.

And I tag whoever is reading this and has not already been tagged and specifically Amrit and Saiyona.

ORIGIN: KOTA

DESTINATION: NEW DELHI
TRAIN: SARVODAYA EXPRESS
TIME: SEVEN HOURS

After the delay of an hour we got on the train. Our seats were occupied by some others as is the norm in such trains. But to see 19 people apart from us three in a compartment was some sort of a shock. People were sitting on the space between the two sleeper berths and on the aisle also.

We requested the 'uncle' to get up and as it turned out his entire family was occupying the seats.

"See, we are respectable people. We don't cause problems to others. And if you want us to get up we will."Having said this the 'uncle' kept sitting. Again we asked him to get up. But he told something to same effect and kept sitting.

Luckily after 5 minutes or so the TTE came along and we atleast got a place to sit-although I was isolated and sharing seats with someone else. Actually the others were waitlisted passengers which did not make it to RAC or confirm list. Still they sat. This is India. Still as was evident all these people had really urgent things to attend to and thats why the TTE I guess was lineant. I am enlisting some unique cases:

1.The 'uncle' and his family were going to arrange I guess their daughter's marriage. But tell me why their entire family was accommodating them?

2.There were two boys around the age of 2o years. They occupied the aisle. They had kept the lights on throughout the night as they were studying for their POLICE FORCE Examination (I am forgetting the exact name.) Hats off to them for even attempting to concentrate.

3. There was this farmer with his goat. He seemed to be accompanying a blind beggar. He was the most annoying person. He did not get down on the platform just before his village but pulled the chain moments later and got down in front of his hut. Lazy people....

It was one of those train journeys I would rather forget. We were up the whole night and bored to the core. Still...

(I have been travelling so there was this delay in my posting.)

My cousin had recently paid me a visit. He lives in a town and his trip to Bhubaneswar (ultimately) served a dual purpose.

Firstly his parents went to a local temple and carried out a puja for him. He had this odd problem. At night he would start shouting out things in odd languages kicking and smacking whoever slept beside him. The priest who was performing the puja blammed this behaviour on the misalignment of planets.(Sometimes I wonder if these planets would not be there who would be there to blame.India!!!)


That night he had slept with me. He starts shouting in his sleep. "Pikachu try electric shock. Shin Shan look out there's mom.Doraemon,Pokemon,Digimon....Tom evade attack. Goku and Picollo save Gohan..." Someone save me. This guy was kicking and smacking me. I woke him up and asked him what he was dreaming about. He drank water and slept again. I did not try to sleep again on the bed - the sofa is much better.

Next day things became clearer. I stayed with my cousin the whole day and all he did was watch television and all he watched on television was cartoons. So that's it...He appeared to be a complete addict actually and got on a high as if he is on drugs.




He was watching Tom and Jerry (Who does not love this?) and as there are no dialogues in the cartoon he was giving commentary describing the scenes and characters and descriptions and their associated dialogues - all given in all the three languages he knew. Hey that's good na!His eloquence and extempore was superb.

But as soon as I told this to my aunt and uncle, they were hell bent that this kid needs to be shown to a psychatrist. And they did go...



THE PRESCRIPTION
All cartoon channels be blocked from this child. He suffers from Cartoon-mania.

Months ago my friend Maurya and me were waiting for the school bus to come back from its first trip and then take us home.


"I really like that girl there,"said Maurya.

I said,"Like? I have never seen you talk with her."

"Just noticed her a few times in school.She is so sweet and nice.Just have a look at her eyes. They are so.... so... "

"So what? Beautiful,deep, mystique,intriguing. So what?"

"No. They are so big and round"

Oh!How prosaic! Sometimes beauty is too good for words. Not that I am saying this girl was beautiful. I had not seen her. I was facing Maurya and he was looking at the girl.

"So, go talk to her man"

"No yaar(friend) what shall I go and tell? Plus she is not even looking at me. No yaar. She will look," said the optimist.

45 minutes later

We are still waiting for the bus and Maurya is still looking at the girl.

"I have had enough,"declared Maurya. "I have been trying to make eye contact with her. But she is not even looking at me. Bhau-Khau"

"How will she know you are looking at her and want to talk with her?"Saying this I turned towards her. "See she is looking the other side. How will she know you were looking?"

"Hey look. She is looking this way now.See,"said Maurya. He improvised with his hairstyle and facial expressions - engineering a very cute boy smile.

"I mean why did she look this way after so much time all of a sudden? Why not before?"said Maurya.

"But tell me what advancement did you make by her looking this way."

"Now I get it. The only difference between all that time and this is that you are facing her. So she turned to look at you. Not me. You traitor. You too Brutus. She is like your bhabhi ."

"Cut out the nautanki(drama). I am not interested in her nor for any relationship. Go talk to her if you want to."

And he went ahead and talked to this girl. She smiled and talked nicely or so it seemed from athe place where I stood. Then Maurya came back.

"So what did she say?"I asked.

"I asked her for her Physics notes and Practical copy. And she will give. But you are in luck."

"I?Luck?"

"She asked your name, traitor"

Thank God the bus came then.

Before I went to on this bus to a town called Balasore I had just alighted from a flight and it starts from there.

GAMES TO PLAY IN AN AIRPORT

This photo speaks for itself(and the sub-heading). It is quite blurred because these kids were moving on this trollley at dangerous speeds and my phone's camera is not all that great. Plus there is a third kid who had to do all the pushing.
I wish I had made a video because then you could have seen how this vehicle was avoiding humans, luggages , pillars, beautiful air-hostesses and other trolleys as well.


SWEAT AND AN ODE TO SNAKE-CHARMERS IN INDIAN FILMS
The bus in which I was making this trip had a driver who was a man of his principles. Actually his only principle that I came to know was that the TV in the bus would only be on if the AC was off. So for half the journey all the passengers had to cope up with a video on the TV that showed songs from Indian movies with snake-charmers as heroes and usually another snake -charmer as the villain. And the snake would always be the heroine. No points for guessing why?


It was a quite aboring show though almost all the villagers travelling in the village were catured by pure cinematic joy. I mean how can people enjoy this. Here's a scene.


Aamir Khan(I did not know he had ever played a snake-charmer) and Juhi Chawla were dancing away. Then night fell and they lit a fire. Aamir was warming himself near the fire. Then Juhi appeared on the scene and bit her lip which was a sort of a symbol for Aamir. He then leaves the fire having found another source of heat and joins Juhi and ....
All this was done to the tune of a been or pungi(an instrument played by snake-charmers). OMG.

AC AND A GIRL
Finally half the trip was finished and the AC was on. And this beautiful girl gets on the bus and guess what?. Occupies the seat next to me. Okay. I had at least two hours. So I could talk with her, impress her, modernise her (if she is a small-town girl), exchange phone numbers.... Actions speak louder than words dude. So just as I was mustering up all my courage to break the ice, she starts crying. I have not spoken as yet girl why are you crying? Is there a problem with my aura itself?

"Why are you crying?" I asked.
"No it is nothing." she said.
"Okay so you cry just like that. "

I don't know why but that made her smile. Girls, when they cry and smile at the same time, look really good.
After a while,
"Can you give me the window seat?See I always vomit everytime I travel by bus...,"she asked, still looking down.

As soon as I heard the word vomit, I had gotten up to exchange the seat.After this exhange I thought the ice was broken and I should talk further but just then...

"Can I use your phone? I have to talk with someone and I don't have balance."
Hey this girl was being too much now. God knows how long she will talk. Nevertheless I gave her the phone. All my fears were allayed when she typed a Vodafone number as Vodafone to Vodafone is free. Yipeee!!

"Please try to understand," she was talking on the phone and I could not stop myself from overhearing. "I was not in town that day. Yeah, I am coming there. No you don't go. We will talk first.We just can't end like this."
Was she talking with her boy-friend?
She said the three magic words just before returning the phone and simultaneosly clearing all my doubts once and for all.
Don't build castles or in this case relationships in air guys.

CATCHING A RUNNING BUS
I went down to a shop to have a cold drink when this bus had stopped for a break. I had not finished when this bus started moving. And I ran(I usually avoid running. I don't look good while running.)I had all my original certificates in my luggage which was now on the bus. Why was not the conductor stopping the bus seeing a stranded passenger running. He made a sign for me to catch the bus running. I ran with all I had and finally near the door I made this jump onto the doorstep. The feeling of going from thhe speed I was running to the speed of the bus in milliseconds is a feeling everyone should feel sometime.The acceleration was intoxicating. People in metros do it everyday though.


SPIDERMAN DID NOT DO THIS
The bus was overloaded by the time we reached Balasore. The conductor was hanging out of the bus literally gripping only to one of the handles on the bus. What a feeling must that be! The girl was sitting two windows away from the door. The conductor made a mini-trip then. He held onto the windows and came to the second window to make the transaction as he had not yet taken money from the girl- all this when the bus is in motion. Plus there was not a bit of fear in his face or eyes that he will ever lose grip and consequently his life. He also returned to the door safely.
And finally I reached Balasore.


LOOK OUT!
My mother and me had been to this temple today. As it was Monday there was this huge rush in the temple and there were about a hundred to two hundred people in the room where the Ling was there. The floor was slippery because of a large number of mashed bananas which were supposed to be for the God. Finally both of us managed to get near the God and my mom stood near the corner while I stood beside.

Just then the priest who was standing still till then turned around ....

"Look out, " I shouted.

But the priest had already smashed the coconut on the wall inches away from my mom's face. OMG. Beware guys.

BURNING SAREES & BOUNDLESS FAITH
The following image showcases seemingly innocuous objects called diyas/deeps but can be fatal at times.






These are called diyas or deeps.








A lady's saree's (for all the non-Indian readers its a clothing Indian women wear) end caught fire and slowly burnt its way up but the devoted lady was busy chanting prayers with eyes closed. Anyone would feel that the saree was on fire but this woman was so much into her prayers that she did not seem to notice at first. Finally she did notice when the priest threw a bucket of water at her. The woman obviously was too taken aback by the fire burning out that she fainted.

Amazingly till she was praying she seemed fine. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

FORGIVE & FORGET
People give their offerings to God on this huge round bronze plate. It is usually filled with lots and lots of coins and a few random notes usually those that are torn or crumpled if you notice closely. I was just looking around while my mother finished her prayers and my eyes fell on this lady. Her fingers (and consequently she) were upto no good. She was faking as if she was putting a coin on the plate but actually she was taking away coins. She did this for about two to three times. Quite a thief !

But then all of a sudden she took out those collected coins and kept them back on the plate and looked around for people noticing her great offering because people usually give one or two rupees. God for this lady will forgive and forget.



CCD 2PM

"I am having a break-up," said Shruti.

This news and the cold-drink that I was drinking almost choked me.

"See Debi things are not fine between him and me. I might as well have faked that things are okay since the last few weeks but the truth is I am not okay with him any longer," said Shruti.

"So when are you actually breaking-up?" I asked.

"Today. I will just tell him straight off it's over. If he has got an active brain with a moderate emotional quotient he should have realised it that this was on the cards. I can't go on any longer like this."

This obviously did not open any lines as I was too much of a friend to change lanes but it did give me a feel of curiosity. I really wanted to know how a relationship goes out into oblivion - the dynamics and causes involved. So just out of curiosity I put forth the following proposition.

"So Shruti, why don't you ask him a few things after you break up. I guess he won't fake anything and tell you what is on his mind. You know now that he does not need to fake any emotions if any...."

"I hate authors Debi"

Hey, that was a shock. Such a mundane generalisation.

"Authors never leave a chance to study situations. So now you have a perfect situation in front of you. What more do you need for a spicy post with a little exaggeration and...."

"Shruti, I did not .."

"Just want a situation. You guys never care for emotions. I loved that guy and you don't console or advice or for God's sake do anything that you deign to do but you ask me to ask some questions."

"The only reason I asked you to ask was because you were breaking up and not faking any longer. I did not expect you to break down when you break up. "

That last line stopped the impending tears. We shifted to a lighter topic.

SMS received at 2 AM
i was thinkin nd guess i will ask him the questions. lets c wat he actlly thks. i still hate authors.

I replied
i m just a blogger no author. good night.

HISTORY

In the 21st century a couple of bored Bansalites started out with this game. The task was simple to convert cricket from being a 75 yard field game to it being played in an average-sized room. They started playing with this clip-board for a bat, a rolled paper-ball for a ball and a bucket for a wicket. Obviously that paper ball did not bounce at all, so all balls had to be full-tosses. Very repetitive indeed.So they had to leave this mundane arrangement. These guys simply put cellotape on the paper ball which at least made it possible for it to bounce. After that there was no stopping them. Hours were spent sweating it out in the room. And fans had to be switched off as you know any aerial stroke then ended up being a threat for the lamp, tube-light, clock and etc etc which were saved many times from damage because of uber-quick reflexes of some players. The popularity of the game spread and the entire PG ended up playing it(even the nerds ended up here around 2 am sometimes.)Sometimes they had visiting players from neighbouring PGs as well.








THE PAPER BALL(As preserved in the Museum for Room Cricket , Rudra's Room ,Trivedi Gardens made by the founders themselves.)









EQUIPMENT
1.BAT- Clipboard or a bat-like structure used to clean clothes or sometimes a real bat
2.BALL-Cellotaped paperballs, Smiley Stress Balls(great bounce and sometimes they spun as well.)
3.WICKET-Bucket or sometimes two buckets to give bowlers a good chance.
4.TOWELS- These were the most important because it got really sweaty.
5.BOUNDARY ROPE-The wall at the opposite end.







THE SMILEY STRESS BALL(Introduced by Apu. Available at any stationers for a price varying from Rs 10 - Rs 20)










SKILLS & RULES
Same as the usual cricket.

AWARDS
1.Most Unforgettable Moment Award - Debi(Myself) and Gunjan Misra. I smacked the ball with which Gunjan had promised by his life to get me bowled straight into the tube light and it rained glass and white powder leaving us in sheer darkness.

2.Best Commentator Award- Satvik. He has the best commentating skills and includes vernacular proverbs that make it so funny and enjoyable.(Once a match was abandoned as no one could stop laughing.)

3.Best Camerawork- These matches and the commentary on them were recorded on Apu's phone mostly by Rudra.

4. Best Spinner Award - Robin. He really spins it a lot with that stress ball.

5.Most Damages Award - Debi . I somehow ended up breaking the walls of the PG a lot of times. (Sorry Uncleji for all that noise and bits of walls missing in Rudra's room.)

This post is now available to be put in any physical education book for 12th class.

It was swelteringly hot and five more people stood in front of us in the line at the Vigyan Nagar Post Office. The line was static. Why? The man at the counter said whatever may be the case they won't take letters or parcel during his lunch hours even if he just sat and chat with his colleagues.

Just then three ladies entered the scene.

"Oh My God! What a long line ! ," said Lady A.
"Don't Worry," said Lady B. "There must be a separate line for women. Since there is none now , we will make one."

Saying this she had started a line for women. There was a protest from a person ( obviously bearing a different set of chromosomes) but that was snubbed down easily by the threesome.Other ladies also followed suit as in a game of hearts. My friend Rudra and me were left flabbergasted.

"It is such a waste of time for students when they have to come by themselves to post their forms. I wish the Institute would do something for these students. It would save a lot of time and..." Lady C did not seem to think it proper to keep her conversation private or short.

Suddenly an idea clicked. I went up to Lady B ( the most vulnerable looking) and said ,"Aunty , Can you post the form for me when you are posting yours. A lot of time would be saved. Please Aunty," in my most flattering voice.

"Son, it would be injustice on others standing here if I did this for you. It would be wrong and you are..."

I cut her short. "Thanks a lot, Aunty, anyways" with a lot of stress on the word Aunty.Hypocrites. She had a chance to save my time but no... justice, truth and what not to cover up.

Five minutes later when the counter opened there was some confusion there. Lady B came out of line, in her hand she held half a twenty-rupee note. I say half cause it had so dexterously torn into two halves(one of which she held) that it seemed that it was a note that was folded in half.




See you can't tell whether its folded in half or cut into two halves till you feel which our lady here was too preoccupied to
notice.







"That potato-vendor. I will kill him today. Look at the rascal...., " said Lady B although she was using language that forbade the use of the title.

Serves her right for being so obsessed with justice.

"Thank God, it was not a hundred rupee note," said Lady A as the trio left the post-office.

Now just look at the economics involved. The potato vendor if he got away with the other half he gets away with a total of twenty plus twenty forty rupees. So a profit of twenty rupees if that note was his and a profit of forty rupees if he had found it and also the idea of not discarding it.

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